Again I Go Unnoticed - Dashboard Confessionals

So quiet
another wasted night,
the television steals the conversation
exhale,
another wasted breath,
again it goes unnoticed.

Please tell me you're just feeling tired
cause if it's more than that I feel that I might break
out of touch, out of time.
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed
cause I can't read your rolling eyes
out of touch, are we out of time?

Close lipped
another goodnight kiss
is robbed of all it's passion,
your grip
another time, is slack
it leaves me feeling empty.

I'll wait until tomorrow
maybe you'll feel better then
maybe we'll be better then
so what's another day
when I can't bear these nights of thoughts
of going on without you
this mood of yours is temporary
it seems worth the wait
to see your smile again
out of the corner of my eye
won't be the only way you're looking at me then.

This song is like poetry to me..jo, it is highly recommended for u to listen to it..dunno y i just felt like saying that..haha..but yea, go listen to it k?

Cheers

Time of reflecting..

end of the year, like duh rite? which other time should we reflect? haha, well actually we can spend any time to just sit down and reflect what we have accomplished, but it is a lot easier to do it at the end of the year..

anyway, so far, this year has been....well, a year..cant say it was a good year, cuz it wasnt, but i cant say it was a bad year, because it wasnt..so yea...it was a year..haha

a lot has happened, my first mission trip, youth camp just to name a few but yea, it has been all good experiences for me, and i REALLY thank God for all he has provided me..it was such a blessing just to be able to do everything that i've done, and also helping me cope with the hard times..haha..

anyway, so wat is the point of reflecting? well, that depends on u of course, if ur d kind of person who loves to learn from your own mistakes, then u use reflections to learn..if ur d kind who likes to reminisce, then you spend your time doing that..k, kinda obvious rite? so yea, why do churchs have watchnight services which the point of it is to reflect on the year that has past? it is done to make sure that we have spent our time wisely and that if we havent we would spend the next year more wisely..

well, this leads me to ask, if we did this last year, why do we still make the same mistakes and at the end of the year, make the same promise to not do it again? maybe new year resolutions should come more than just once a year if u noe wat im talking about..k, it seems like i've started rambling again..so yea,have fun and Happy New Year again..

Cheers

For the longest of times..

haha, yea its been like the longest of times since i last updated this blog, but yea, if u noe me well enough, december is the MOST busiest time of the year for me..so yea, exams ended, youth camp went by, sister is back from the US which is the reason why u dont really see me online cuz she is, christmas, and falling sick as well..haha..anyway, here is to all, MERRY BELATED CHRISTMAS!! and A LITTLE EARLY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Anyway, apart of all that is said above, my grandma also passed away on 21st morning, so this post is dedicated to her..

Ever heard the story of the children's story about a baby mouse that ran into a chicken and a cat? if u haven't here is the story..

a baby mouse comes running into the house and she/he/it (which ever makes u happy) runs to him/her/it's mother and says, "mummy! mummy! you cant believe the day that i've had!!" so the mother decides to sit the baby mouse down and the baby tells the mother the story..

"i went out to play with my other friends, and we played for the longest of times, but suddenly 2 giant figures approached us and all my friends ran away. But i decided to stay and see what the giant figures were like. the first one was very loud, looked ugly and was very rough. The second giant looked very soft, quiet, and seemed very nice to be with. I tried to go close to the soft n nicer giant to play with it because it looked friendly, but the ugly giant was always coming between us and kept blocking me and making a lot of noise from getting to the softer and quieter giant. So I got scared of the 1st giant that i ran home to you."

The mother mouse then hugged the baby mouse and said the it/her/him "that was the smart thing to do". The baby mouse then asked the mother mouse, "why is that mummy, and what were the two giants?"

So the mother answers, "Darling baby, the first giant was a rooster, and the rooster is loud because it is his responsibility to wake all of us up. The second giant my child was a cat, and cat's eat mice, that is how your father died, because he got too close to the cat. So the rooster saw that the cat was near you and he decided to take care of u by warning u and keeping you away from the cat."

And so the baby mouse learnt her/his/it's lesson in life and stayed away from the cat and decided to go and play with the rooster from then on..the end..

k, besides the fact that the baby mouse is able to comprehend death, and is able to venture outside alone without supervision, this story always reminded me of amachi (which is what we call our grandma) It was sad that she had developed dementia when i just started to mature and start to focus on others then always looking to have fun..so my memories of her when i was a child was she being strict..comparing her to my dad's mum, i always would prefer to visit her, because i did have more fun there, on the count that there was a computer i could play games on and also cuzins to hang out with..

My mum's grandparents lived in Sungai Petani in their own house, and she use to always make us follow a schedule, lunch is at 1, dinner at 7.30, and breakfast at 9am..well, judging from my size, i didnt really enjoy eating, but when i was at their house, i actually liked the food, and i would actually eat all the food that amachi cooked..my mum use to always say that i put on weight when i went there..but other than that, she use to also always make sure we dont always spend the time watching TV, and make us go outside to play, but she was rather protective about her garden, which gave me the impression that flowers dont die, because she always kept the garden in bloom..

anyway, she was rather protective of her garden, so i remember her scolding us if we played football, because we would sometimes kick the ball into her flowers, and so she would come out and scold us, which led us to play badminton more..

i did tell my mum taht i found amachi too strict, but my mum always said, "when you get older you would understand" well, although now im not that much older, but i finally learn to appriciate all her rules, and actually see that she is actually always looking out for us..i may not have said much just now to prove this point, but if u were there, you could feel it somehow..well, i noe i did..the schedule always made sure that we led a well balanced life..mornings to either study or watch tv, and afternoons also the same, while evenings were always were to play outdoors..

i think i can say that all of her grandchildren have heard stories of amachi being the kindest person where her house was always open to anyone who needed a place to stay, and well, now looking back, i would say that we have experienced it too, where everytime we went over to stay, amachi was never in a bad mood or acted in ways that didn't want all of us there..the house sometimes would be over crowded, where we would sleep in the tv room, living room, and almost everywhere, and what surprises me now is that how we always had mattresses to sleep on, like there would be 30 people sleeping in 1 house..quite amazing..

during her latter years, when she started developing dementia (it is a disease that causes an individual to lose their memory) she use to always ask me, because i use to hang around my cuzin's house, where she and my grandpa was living when she developed it, and she use to always ask me, "Mone (pronounced as mo- ne, sounds like more-nare), where is your mummy? how is she doing?" and i would always answer, "she is at home amachi and she is fine amachi" then she would nod in acknowledgement, and five minutes later asks me the same question again, and i would answer..i never minded answering her, because i felt really sad for her, because that was like the only conversation i could ever hold with her..but yea, anyway what i really saw from her is that she was always thinking of others, which i find really amazing, cuz i just find it super hard to constantly think of others all the time..so thank you amachi for all that you have given us..I am really sorry for that one time that i shouted at you, which I myself have forgotten what it was about, but i remember just shouting at you, amachi..God Bless and see you in heaven..

Cheers and rest in peace..

The Games We Play

during exams, the MCQ exams, i use to play like mind games with myself, cuz i found that exams were just too boring..this of course was when i was young..like, standard something young..anyway, yea i use to look at the answer sheet as a race or a competition where there is 4 competitors..A,B,C,D..so my game was to see which of the competitors got shaded the most, and my favourite was always C..go figure..so yea, also i would see what is the last answer would be, so it would be like the finish line..BUT of course u would think, then might as well i shade in the 1st and last answer to noe who won rite? well, yea, but it wouldnt be fun anymore..

i actually remember waiting in anticipation to find out who won, cuz sometimes when i dont noe wat to answer, i would count the answers, to see the current status, or to see who was "in the lead" so yea, if it was B-14 n C-13, i would be like damn excited! haha..anyway, i would say this experience has actually trained me to be objective..cuz i could have shaded in all the C's and would have won, but i didnt, cuz i wanted to get it all right..haha..but yea, even when it came to answers that i wasnt sure, i would still choose between the 2 answers i thought was closer to being right then playing my game..but yea, i mean, if u noe me well enough, i hate books, and studies..esp when i was younger..exams wasnt my greatest joy also..so yea, i created the game to keep me occupied..also created a "stock market" story cuz d race also got a little boring after awhile..so yea..haha..

how d story worked is i use to choose a country (yea, i didnt noe much about the stock markets or the economy), usually a south american country, and then envision the answer sheet as those stock charts u see..haha..anyway yea..cuz the questions are clumped into 5's, so yea every 5 questions were a day..so yea, this is a little more complicated, cuz now A,B,C,D all had values now, but d values depended on where u started..for example, if i started d 1st question with a B, then my 5th question was C, that means i went up by 1..(consider it as like 1 point in the stock market) so yea, if i started off with a A, then ended with a D, that is d biggest margine the country can gain from, which would be 3..so yea, it would take 5 for me to "overtake" England and 10 for me to "overtake" US and be the richest country in the world..(in my own little world of course) but yea, this game really helped me with me geography, as i use to be like a commentator in my head, saying things like, "and the argenitian Peso has risen by 2 points and has now overtaken Great Brittain!" so yea, learnt, or tried to learn, what each country calls it's money, like the US is dollar, and England is Pound..but yea..also learnt my countries and also d capitals! haha..o, btw, if just say i started with a D, it would really suck, cuz there is no way of gaining points, the best i could get would be a draw, that is if it lets..so yea, it would fluctuate up and down, kinda like the real stock market, no?

but yea, from that experience, i also learnt that most of the MCQ answers are B! haha..but yea, now i look back its like, "hmm, got a good imagination (says it like spongebob with my hands waving to form a rainbow..haha, ben noes wat im talking about)..maybe i should do some writting of a story or work in showbiz"haha but yea, dont think i will..psych's my thing..

Cheers

A Hattrick of Bliss..

Jaws Theme Swimming, again!

Yea i noe, not again..but seriously its like a jigsaw puzzle for me..trying to figure out the meaning from the lyrics..its such a cool song..haha..did some research of course..d meaning of the song seems rather dark..but yea..also wondered y call it jaws theme swimming? so here is an interpretation (originally i used the word analysis..haha, too much psych) from another guy which i kinda agree with..

"Ok. Well first off I love this song.. but who doesn't?

I seem to find my lyrical interpretations a bit darker though.

As with most of the songs on this album, i see this song as a vignette. it tells me a story of a predatory stranger possibly abducting a little girl. him leaving tobacco, peppermints and fingerprints in the car as in a crime scene. her, "sucking on your breath mint, dissected and stuck with pins" (killed probably), and of course the smoke (from his tobacco) at the playground and its cold outside, these also set the tone.

And then from the mothers point of view (as if to her daughter) "if youre leaving just let me know" and "if your coming home just let me know". of course she leaves without letting her mother know. ("some rules are made with all intentions to break") hence the mother frantically searching the playground in the pouring rain "concrete and water".

then later in the song, the mother taking the daughters picture off the wall and out of its frame, overcome by the grief of this tragedy takes her life by jumping out the window."


This is just what I got from it when I listened to it.

here is the link http://artists.letssingit.com/brand-new/jaws-theme-swimming/vdvx3mb/reviews/2

Here is the lyrics again..

In a car outside,
we stalk the idle kind.
"If you're leaving, just let me know."
Tobacco and peppermint,
dusting for fingerprints.
A film in her eyes from the glow.
Some rules are made
with all intentions to break,
And she defends it
with a warped rationale.
But I've seen what happens
to the wicked and proud,
When they decide to try
to take on the throne for the crown.

And we learn as we age.
We've learned nothing
and my body still aches.
And you take cause they give.
Though I love you
and my body it leaks like a sieve.

When it got cold outside,
smoke beneath the playground lights.
If you're coming home,
just let me know.
Sucking on your breath mint,
dissected and stuck with pins.
A film in her eyes from the glow.
Concrete and water,
she's looking for her daughter,
At midnight in torrential downpour.
And everything I said
about how messed your head is,
Got cut up and left
in bits and pieces on the cutting room floor.

And we learn as we age.
We've learned nothing
and my body still aches.
And you take cause they give.
Though I love you
and my body it leaks like a sieve.

Take the picture from the wall
cause you think that nothing matters.
Take a picture from the plane
and it's a long way to the floor.
Cut your finger on the edge
cause it's sharper than they told you.
Take a leap from out the window
cause it's way too far
to go through the door.

And we learn as we age.
We've learned nothing
and my body still aches.
And you take cause they give.
Though I love you
and my body it leaks like a sieve

So yea, my interpretation is that it is not a little girl, but more of a teenage girl, that kinda explains the rebellion and the need to break rules..n yea think it is a girl, cuz it says daughter.. so yea, y the title? well, to me d jaws theme is supposed to be like, suspenseful and scary rite? n swimming is movement, in a sense means practicality, so it kinda says that scary stuff that happens in real life..so yea i guess it is a warning to everyone..anyway, d chorus i feel is about how we age and yes, do stupid things, even our parents who are older but fail to impart the information to us..so we try the same things over and over again till our body aches..k, at first i thought the lyrics was from the daughter, cuz of the last line, where she is saying that even though she loves her mother, she is not able to retain what she has learnt, but the beginning part of the chorus didnt really connect, esp the "and you take, cause they give"..but yea, i guess wat it means is that the mother is comparing herself to a sieve (a strainer to those who dont not wat a sieve is) and i guess saying how she is crying for her daughter..

Other than that, i pretty much agree with wat the other guy said..really cool song..we should do this in psych class la..haha..

Cheers..

time to move on..

Well, its about time..anyway, in the midst of finals now..philosophy was good..just too bad i didnt have enough time..damn, i hope i can get a C..thats how sad i am, i noe..but yea, next paper is LAN, malaysian studies, n that really dont need to stress over..need like, 10 marks to pass..n yea, thats all wat we all are aiming for..waste of time..but yea, in between d 2 papers, i have an assignment to do, which is basically talk about my groupmates and conflicts that happened in the group..2 pages..nothing big..n its due later..about 11 and a 1/2 hours time..n im still wasting time..besides that, have a presentation on friday, which is a 1/2 an hour presentation on the public health 2010 plan thing in d US..seriously another waste of time..anyway, looking forward to it to end..then i can start studying for conflict, which is like, super interesting subject for me..anyway yea, just looking forward to saturday d 13th..(haha, missed by one day so it becomes a lucky day..)

but yea, all that is just short term plans..like the pic d journey, ahead is long, n im already looking forward to the next break (which is non-existent in life)...striving for something that doesn't exist? doesnt that sound oddly familiar? but yea, u dont get breaks in life, if someone or something dies, no matter how close they/it are/is to u, time just goes on..so u have to move on with it, if not u get left behind..wats wrong with getting left behind? y dont u ask those ppl who have PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder)..they still hold on to their memories of their traumas..they cant function like u and i..

well, not everything is bad..good thing are in store in the future, one of which is the end..i guess that we should be excited about the end..the end of our monotonous life, our mundane activities, and also our meaningless actions..only 1 thing really matters, and that is God..if u live ur life as He wants u to, then everyday is exciting, and meaningful..so yea, we should look forward to the end if u really live everyday for God..less distractions, more focus on God..but of course, wait for the end, dont make it come to u..

(sorry my posts are a little morbid..still emo-ing..CM, im not going to bang the wall..)

Qoute of the day,

" You emo?? Then go bang wall..Guarantee u won't feel anything after that"

- Lim Choon Meng

Cheers

In Loving Memory

I know that it has taken me 5 days to get this post up, but I just wasn't able to bring myself to do it. Even now I'm tearing up, but I guess it has to be done, in justice to your life and your impact on me. I really wish that you didn't have to go the way you did, but it was all in God's plan. I love you and really miss you.

The first time I wanted to take a picture, you ran and hid under the table..^

Growing curious about my camera..^

This song is dedicated to you..

What is so funny?

K, how many of you laughed also at this vid? k honestly, i also find it a little funny, but i now want to know why..k, it kinda happened during camp, where we were..er.."teaching" a boy on problem solving skills..his methods of solving the situation we put him in was rather hilarious..today when i was watching the planet's funniest animals on animal planet, i saw something like the vid above..it was a girl blowing bubbles and a dog was eating them..the girl was laughing, and can say she is about 3-5 years old..

so why do we find such things funny? i would guess that it is because we are intelectual beings, and what amuses us are things that we consider down right stupid or uninteligent, that when someone or something does it, it kinda shows us the inteligence level of that person..as in the vid above, which person in their right mind will eat bubbles or soap suds?..so why do we laugh? well, a conclusion (you can say a theory, and it is something that im thinking of myself..if it is an actual theory, then this is purely coincidental) that i can draw up is that when people or animals do stupid things, it makes us feel good cuz it shows us something or someone who is less inteligent than us..haha,yea it is a very freudian conclusion..but yea, i remember when i was in ben's house, watching this add for worlds most amazing videos, where a motorcyclist just rams into a truck, and ben just burst out laughing..i mean, yea it was sooo stupid of d guy..

anyway, on a side note, i think that shows like america's funniest home vids and whacked out sports are viewed more than shows like the planets funniest animals..k, i would like to "hypothesize" that the more inteligent the being is, the funnier the event will be..so shows that have humans acting stupid should be considered more funny than shows with animals..however, it is not that just for me to say that without mentioning those ppl who just hate these shows..i would say that these ppl have very high levels of empathy, where they empathize the the subject on the screen or infront of them..haha..to be more psychological, maybe these ppl have high levels of being phlegmatic where they want everyone around them to be pleased with them..

k, i understand humour actually depends on individuals, like i can write a joke now, and some will find it funny and some dont..n everything i wrote here is just from my thoughts..pls DO NOT qoute me, because it is not supported by any research wat-so-ever..haha, just finished all my reports for coll, so i was still kinda in the mood to keep analyzing and writting..so yea, these is KINDA like the stuff we write in our psych reports just that we have to back it up with past research and it has to be WAAAAY more lengthy..if u were wondering what are my reports are like..haha..

Cheers

Jaws Theme Swimming

In a car outside
We stalk the idle kind
If you're leaving just let me know
Tobacco and peppermint
Dusting for fingerprints
A film in her eyes from the glow

Some rules are made with all intentions to break
And she defends them with a warped rationale
But I've seen what happens to the wicked and proud
When they decided to try to take on the throne for the crown

And we learn
As we age
We've learned nothing
And my body still aches
And you take
Cause they give
Though I love you
And my body it leaks like a sieve

When it got cold outside
Smoke beneath the playground lights
If you're coming home, just let me know
Sucking on your breath mint
Dissected and stuck with pins
A film in her eyes from the glow

Concrete and water
She's looking for her daughter
At midnight in torrential downpour
And everything I said about how messed up your head is
Were cut up and left in bits and pieces on the cutting room floor

And we learn
As we age
We've learned nothing
And my body still aches
And you take
Cause they give
Though I love you
And my body it leaks like a sieve
[x2]

Take a picture from off the wall
When you think that nothing matters
Take a picture from the plane
It's a long way to the floor
Cut your finger on the edge
Cause it's sharper than they told you
Take a leap from out the window
Cause it's way too far to go through the door

And we learn
As we age
We've learned nothing
And my body still aches
And you take
Cause they give
Though I love you
And my body it leaks like a sieve

Future of BBM..

hey guys, if you are interested in this, or are involved with what is mentioned above, please read the links. If your not involved, you are still welcomed to read them..

Basically the Youth Act is now affecting BB, where we are a youth organization and the act states that members or any youth organization needs to be between the ages of 15-40.. SO BBM is now coming out with a draft of BBY (Boys' Brigade Youth) and they have drawn up this proposal for the constitution

http://bookofwong.blogspot.com/2008/11/implications-of-youth-act-2007-on-boys.html

http://bookofwong.blogspot.com/2008/11/proposed-bb-youthbriged-putera-belia.html

Redundancy

Something that we can all do without rite?( no pun intended) like seriously..this is from more of a leadership role or an organizing role, where there is no point in having people or positions of no use, because then it leaves u wondering, "what the heck is that person doing?" this goes especially for assistants or vices or 2nd in command people..not saying that all these ppl are useless, they are most definitely not! But when forming a committee or an organization, one MUST look at the purpose of each and every role given..IF u think about everything that each role needs, and u find that there is no need for a vice, then by all means, dont include a vice..or even a treasurer, secretary or normal comm members..

also when doing work or doing stuff, one should look at the point of doing the work and also following all the steps..for example, u see all footballers on the same team kissing their rings before they enter the field, and u go up to one and ask them, "why do u do it?" if they reply, "i dunno..everyone else is doing it" then that is just 1 step that is just redundant..however it does not take up much resources (energy, time) so that is fine..BUT just say their ritual is to do 50 laps around the field before entering the it, then it really becomes extremely redundant..

IF u watched d vid, u will see that ppls lives are just repeated over and over and over again..so i would say, what u can learn form d vid is that u should question what your doing, to make sure that it is of worth..being creations of God, we MUST use our time wisely rite? Of course im not suggesting u to think about every small thing that u do like picking up the spoon first before u pick up d fork or watever.. Im just saying just do a retrospect once in awhile and ask urself, "am i in a rut? Whatever im doing, can i not do this step? Why must i do it this way? is it worth my time?" and all those kinds of questions..

Being in an organizing role many times, i have seen ppl just do things as they were, because it was done that way, although it is totally redundant and a total waste of time and i REALLY cant stand it (however i will admit i do act without thinking myself)..mostly happens in BB, like how NCO's just pass put punishments to boys who dont polish their uniform parts..but dont ask themselves, "why am i punishing d boy? is the punishment working? what is d purpose of punishment?" and it also works for the followers too..

Cheers

Place for My Head

I watch how the moon sits in the sky
On a dark night shining with the light from the sun
The sun doesn't give light to the moon
Assuming the moon's going to owe it one
It makes me think of how you act to me
You do favors and then rapidly
You just turn around and start asking me about
Things you want back from me

I'm sick of the tension, sick of the hunger
Sick of you acting like I owe you this
Find another place to feed your greed
While I find a place to rest

I want to be in another place
I hate when you say you don't understand
(You'll see it's not meant to be)
I want to be in the energy, not with the enemy
A place for my head

Maybe someday I'll be just like you, and
Step on people like you do and
Run away the people I thought I knew
I remember back then who you were
You used to be calm, used to be strong
Used to be generous, but you should've known
That you'd wear out your welcome
Now you see how quiet it is, all alone

I'm sick of the tension, sick of the hunger
Sick of you acting like I owe you this
Find another place to feed your greed
While I find a place to rest

I'm sick of the tension, sick of the hunger
Sick of you acting like I owe you this
Find another place to feed your greed
While I find a place to rest

I want to be in another place
I hate when you say you don't understand
(You'll see it's not meant to be)
I want to be in the energy, not with the enemy
A place for my head

You, tried to take the best of me, GO AWAY

Bleak..is it?

nothing to look forward to..yea, holidays are around the corner, but that is filled with other stuff..At the moment, assignments are due all on the same day, my university STILL hasnt replied me, and i need to reply them by the 30th of November..youth camp is getting closer..stress levels are up, pup is sick, or depressed, both equally saddening..so what is there to look forward to? not to mention the expectations of ppl on me..

K, im not going to lie to anyone, there IS social pressure..ppl ARE expecting something of u..example, ur sitting on the bus and an old lady gets on the bus, immediatly everyone is staring at u, cuz ur EXPECTED to just jump off the seat and let the lady on it..this is ok, but if when u delay for like, 2 seconds, cuz u just didnt notice, cuz ur mind is preoccupied with assignments are work and SOOO many other stuff, then u hear a STUPID FREAKING lady say, "Boleh bagi aunty ini duduk?" at that moment, u actually just realized the old lady, so u already started moving, but as u just start the F****** lady opens her big trap..so yea u get off, then the old lady has a seat, and the FB of a lady then says to the old lady, "haiz, budak zaman sekarang"..AGAIN social pressure kicks in, and all u can do is just shut up while that stupid lady says such things of u..

So what can u do? pray..seriously..and live ur life as Jesus wants u to..another annoying type of social pressure is the kind u get from relatives, adults friends (basically parents friends) where they ask such questions like, "so what are u studying?" or they make remarks like "o, ur son hasn't decided on what to do? u should ask him to do engineering" or " o, his son is studying law, or medicine" my answer to all that is SOOO??!! i really dont give a damn about all that..based on their logic, everyone should study medicine or law or engineering, then there is only 3 jobs in the world..others all not important..still, even so, my question to these ppl is, "is the child happy?" honestly, i get a lot of these questions, because im studying psychology, something that is considered as out of the norm..they ask stupid questions like, "eh, study psychology can get a good job? got pay ah?" its like, "F*** u, there is more to life than money.." but yea, pity them..cant imagine living my lift from 1 perspective only..just money..without the Love of God..

anyway, d conclusion that i've managed to draw from all my anti social behaviour and the analitical character that i have, i've learnt to just satisfy God's desire for u then ur own needs..if ur need is to be liked by everyone, then fine, go ahead and live with social pressure..personally, this is why i participate in anti social behaviour, its to keep myself away from all the annoyance..

yea, i am just venting out now..feel a whole lot better..(dont worry, none of wat i said is a reference to anyone i noe..if any name or situation actually depicts an actualy person, it was merely coincidental)

Quote of the Day,

"Life - Learning Is Frequently Experienced"

- Caleb George Mamman

Cheers

Common Sense

a wise man said,

"There is no such thing as common sense.." - Mr. Wong Giok Leigh

and it is soo totally true..we always make assumptions that there is such a thing as common sense..but is there? wat is d definition of common sense? well, to me its common knowledge that is shared by a group of people..so when you are sharing info with other people, you tend to leave out info, because u assume that it is common sense..thats how u loose marks in essays..



but yea, studying psych subjects like conflict resolution, human services really feels like its subjects that is based on common sense and ppl just want to make money from common sense..that use to be my attitude, so i tried to rely on my knowledge more than wat was in d book..that was my mistake..so now when i study "common sense" subjects, i look to what is said in the book, what i noe, wat i dont noe, the definitions, understanding all the definitions and why its defined in that way, in a way, getting into the head of the author and try to understand d background..haha..sounds like im some genius..key word, i TRY to be..

n btw, yea, im still depressed about d music thing, but now there is something to cheer me up..

Cheers..

Youth Camp Promo's~~Enjoy!

SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SOMEDAY!!

yea, found another breathing space to blog a bit..still sick..but anyway, this all is nothing compared to sunday la..was one of the most (k, i dont want to say its d most, cuz i cant seem to recall any other day that is worse, but im sure that there is so just to be safe) depressing days of m life...it can be considered the last time i will play bass for worship..k i noe, im being selfish n the main point is to worship God..but yea, i realize that i truly worship God and give thanks through playing bass..which im really gonna miss.. need to find others ways of praising and worshiping God now..

besides that, from a more psychological POV (point of view), one of my ultimate goals is to be in a rock band n rock out on stage n the closest thing to that is to play for worship, which is actually a wrong mentality when you play..to be in the worship team, its is more important that u are well founded in God and play to worship Him, instead of playing to satisfy ur needs..but yea, when i play, i truly, TRULY play to worship God..

Dont really sing cuz u realize that i end up just singing to follow the mass, and i dont meditate on the words..Now, when im worshiping, i dont sing, but just stand there and read the words, meditating on it, trying to truly mean it..

So yea, am depressed..looking for ways to come out and to replace my mode of worshiping God..

Cheers..

Gruff

no idea wat is that..just needed to write it..could be a new word, or an old word with a new meaning..the release of tension..haiz..anyway, just finished my super busy week last week, 1 assg due, 2 quizzes to prepare, and 2 midterms..carried over this week, 1 quiz, 2 group projects, 1 midterm paper, n 1 presentation..which is on friday, n i have no idea y im blogging now..on top of that, im sick, youth camp is drawing closer, and Click Trick is 3 weeks away..haiz..so yea..

anyway, today d whole day, i just wanted to be alone, sat alone, but i also wanted to hang around my friends..totally weird day..didnt say a word, or didnt say much, but i wanted to be with ppl..anyway, this is really weird for me cuz if i want to be alone, means i REALLY want to be alone, cuz im extra irritable..but this time was a mix..anyway, after philo class, i was just super pissed off, at wat i dunno..maybe its cuz of d stress, or not..that was also totally weird..hmm..maybe cuz im sick also, God knows..

oo, and about d pic, i just typed in gruff for fun on google, and this is wat i found..haha..a forgotten children's story..

Cheers?

dying happy?

k, besides living my life in God's love, i would be able to die really happy if i have rocked out on stage with a band (hopefully ben is d guitarist la..haha) with super cunted songs..so if that day were to come, and i were do die from a freak accident after that, i dont mind..( k, im not suicidal, just expressing what i consider as self-actualizing- a psych term)

but yea, of course i want to live a life that glorifies God..well, if ur asking about drumming, like performing with a marching band, or like the Nilai performance kind of performance, i wouldn't mind but i've already done it, so yea..haha..n for marching bands, well i only want to do it with d bands that i performed with (1st kl 2006 PESTA band, APMB 2003 band) y? cuz there is a strong bond already connected with them..haha..kinda miss those days, but thats all they are..memories..need to move forwards and look forward for different ways to express myself..

Cheers..

All i wanted to say was hi..

(me) This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
boss..

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
macam mana?

(obvious who this is rite?) darryn says:
apa

darryn says:
balik kampung

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
haha, kat mana tu?

darryn says:
timbuktu

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
haha..

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
jauhnya..

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
kenapa dia datang sini?

darryn says:
makan satay ma, banyak sedap!

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
lepas tu balik?

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
banyak kaya..

darryn says:
ya... kaya, strawberry jam pun ada

darryn says:
traffic jam pun ada!

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
oo..bagus bagus..

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
ku ni belum cuba traffik jam la..rasa macam mana ah?

darryn says:
tada sedap

darryn says:
cuba Jakarta brand traffik jam... mati terus

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
oo..begitu...terima kasih atas amaran yang kau bagi..

darryn says:
sama2

hmmmm....so this is wat stress feels like?

u know, i use to think that there is such a thing as ataraxia, where it is a condition where a person just cannot feel stressed, which is in d movie lucky number slevin (really good movie)..of course i did research, trying to find out more about it..cuz i dont get stressed over normal stuff to get stressed about, like exams, performing on stage, competitions, watever else that is stressful..i just dont get stressed, like, super cool..but anyway, i couldnt find anything in any of my textbooks, online, or even my lecturers, so im coming to a conclusion that there is no such thing, its just that my perspective of what is important to me is not in order.. so now i've learnt to prioritize my studies, so now im finally feeling this weird feeling, which im assuming is stress..haha..

Cheers

Phobias

k, im still in a holiday mood, so i will give u guys another post..something a little more interesting la..my phobias..

well, when i was young, i had a terrible phobia of sharks..trust me, it was really bad..i couldnt even stand d sight of the sharks, n d worse part was that my sis (elder sis) use to get a poster of all the sharks and chase me around the house, n my dad would actually allow her to do that..haha..i remember even once hiding under the bed just to get away from her..anyway, i remember when i was like, 4 i REALLY loved sharks..interesting, no? a sudden change..i just cant remember y..maybe some hypnosis can help explain that..but yea, it was just a sudden overnight thing..anyway, NOW i dont have that fear anymore la..got over it..it started with slowly just looking at sharks, then touching the picture (sounds dumb but it was a breakthrough, k?) then watching documentaries, looking at real sharks, n finally, touching a real shark..all this was done before the age of 18..so anyway, i actually went through a psych process called extinction which is used to overcome fears, which i didnt noe about (another reason i think i should do psych)

k, other than my shark phobia, a.k.a. selachophobia, i have a fear of heights (acrophobia), where when im walking on some high place, n i suddenly realize that there is a drop near by, my knee closest to the drop will give way, so i will like trip towards it..usually happens in shopping malls, 1st floor onwards, near d center court or something like that la..(get wat i mean?)

i think thats about it, in terms of fears la..k, also i just really really REALLY REALLY REALLLLYYY HATE BUGS..ALL KINDS..DONT CARE IF THEY ARE SLUGS, WORMS, OR WATEVER, just hate them..k, maybe not hate la..REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLLYYYY dislike them..dunno y, just do..haha..

Cheers..

An Organized Mess...

haha..sounds a bit like an oxymoron rite? well, not really la..well, thats how i am..everytime i do something, its a mess, but its organized to me..haha..my room is the best example..i like to be able to see everything, cuz then i noe where everything is..when things are neat, it means that everything is kept away somewhere, not visible, so yea..haha..so i get really annoyed when someone goes into my room and clears everything up..thats when everything goes "missing" in my room..haiz..when no one touches it, there is no problem..

also quite interesting is that im quite a neat freak..or more like a perfectionist, where i need to do things to perfection or i have to go through a system or something to do things..haha..u noe wat? im actually confusing myself..i guess, to simply put it, im an organized mess..haha..the organized part is in my mind..d mess is wat u see..

Coming soon..

haha, its been like a week rite? so yea, hold on..will update soon..

Interesting week....

haha, yea..k, starts off with Isaak's birthday surprise which was on monday..haha..we did surprise him, like were d 1st ppl to do that..so ya..haha yay us! 2 points..

also monday was a speech that was tidak memuas-hatikan where i over shot d time by 1 min, which means my marks got cut..GAAA!! minus 4 points..

also is the vids la, haha that a plus point la..d violin vids that is in my previous post so click on that n watch d vids to noe wat im talking about..2 points, 1 for each vid..

tuesday and wednesday nothing much la.. 0 points

thursday went for worship practice, which was cool, cuz i REALLY love playing bass or drums..so its a 10 points plus..haha

friday, didnt go to coll, then realized that i had an assignment to pass up.. so i had to go to coll to pass it up then go to school for band..minus 5 points

after that went to watch zohan with cm n tommy for cm's birthday celebration..2 points la..give face..

then d movie was ok, funny but d storyline was really bad..plus 1, minus 2 = minus 1 point

friday got into an accident with tommy in d car, he was driving n i was in d pessenger seat.. minus 5 points

then staying on to help him to settle d whole thing till like 8 pm..accident was at 6.10pm..plus 3 points

had to miss CCF because of this..minus 4

later finding out that tommy get grounded for sending me home..minus 5

saturday, had a Nepali lunch with jason lai and family, mimz, n peter..plus 6 points, 1 for each person..

finding out that cm needs to go home from BB cuz he has heartburn n needs to see d doctor..minus 4 points

BB meeting..1 point..got to play football! but it was with junior boys..

met addison n talked about drums..plus 2 points

council meeting, 0 points..neutral

Man U winning!!!..plus 7 points

Man U given a penalty that was a bad decision..minus 3..

Sunday, worship..plus 10 points..i just love playing bass and worshipping..

being offered to play bass for christmas..plus 1..

turning down the offer because of studies..minus 3...

youth camp meeting..was good in my opinion..plus 1..haha

spending lunch and dota with isaak..plus 5..

having a good game of dota with isaak and getting a hero (dark seer) that i used super well..plus 2..

later i come home, i find a dog out in d backyard..plus 1..always wanted a dog..

so ya, i psycho-analyze d dog..haha bet u guys are laughing..just d usual analyze la..haha..so my conclusion is that its an emo dog..where it will come up to ur hand and just wants to be patted..wont bark, wont run around n play..food also quite hard to give..but yea, its an emo dog la..just comes to u and wants to be patted, nothing else..shows that it just wants to be accepted into the family and also wants attention..haha..yea, its a female dog..k, points..hmm..neutral la..maybe more positive..plus 2? yea..should be correct la..

k, so thats all la..btw d points is just a numerical value of d event to me la..so lets count..

2-4+2+10-5+2-1-5+3-4-5+6-4+1+2+7-3+10+1-3+1+5+2+1+2= +23..so its been a good week..haha..well kinda la.. EMO DOG!!haha..find that funny..dunno y..maybe we should name it emo..

Cheers

Im not shy..Im just anti social

haha..finally got some breathing space, so i can blog a bit..

so yea, if u like saw me in class, or in a party, or somewhere where im not going anywhere, and i dont say hi, its not that im shy, its cuz im anti social..as in i dont want to say hi to u..k sounds bad rite? well it has a deeper meaning la..im a VERY phlegmatic person (which means im the kind of person that wants to please everyone around me) so in my mind, i see myself as a burden where if i walk up to u and u have a group of friends with u that i dont noe, so i might cause an awkward moment for u cuz u guys might find it difficult to talk about ur usual stuff cuz of my presence (get wat i mean?) so yea, i see it as helping u, and your friends, have the most amount of fun as much of the time..IF u came up to me and told me, "its ok, join in!" then i would.. but other than that..

k, if you saw me walking along a corridor, or a walk way or watever, n i dont say hi, well its cuz i just didnt see u..haha..k, sometimes i do see u, but i would be thinking, "is that who i think it is?" cuz i kinda like have a phobia where i waved at someone i didnt noe, cuz he look IDENTICALLY like someone i noe, and that guy just gave me d weird look..so yea, instead of waving first, i would wait for u to wave first..just to confirm..but yea..i also get ignored quite a lot la, as in i would be talking to someone without that person realizing, mostly i would say is because i dont have a very loud or out standing voice, or i just speak at d wrong times..so yea..haha..

Random posts to keep u guys occupied..

haha..yea, sounds like a burden rite? well, im not gonna lie, it is a burden, but its a calculated burden..

quote of the day,

" headaches causes your heads to hurt"

btw, watch this, its really good..

quotes

these are some of the quotes that amused me today..

"Remember class, if you have high emotion, you have low intel!" - Lecturer, talking about how conflicts are started, and how we need to be in order to resolve it..

"Hi...wat movie?...SHUT UP..STUPID" Friend, a conversation done by 1 person..haha..cuz ppl are collecting their movie tickets, so yea, this person was at d counter, handing out d tickets..(well, it did not really happen la..)

"LLAAAAAAAAAAAAAA............. KUKARACA! LA KUKARACA! ENCHALADA BLA BLA BLA!

LA KUKARACA, LA KUKARACA, AND A BURITO BLA BLA BLA!" - Cosmo of the Fairly Oddparents..haha, it was just soo funny..

"the chicken hair guy"- Friend, talking about someone in class..haha..

ha..k, there is my other lecturer, who im starting to have a problem with her..cuz she says things that is directly opposite to wat she said previously..

k, she is a LAN Malaysian Studies lecturer, so she was talking about our assignment where we came up with 5 qualifiers to enter the parliment la..so yea, she was telling us d "correct"(im using this term VERY loosely) answers..so she was saying that a politician who HAD homosexual tendencies is ok to run for parliment cuz that person has like married a woman and has kids (k it is about a spesific person, but i dont want to say who la, cuz i might get into trouble la over something SHE said in class), cuz PPL CAN CHANGE (note the cap-ed words)..k, then she says that a qualifier is that a candidate for parliment CANNOT be DIVORCED OR HAVE MORE THAN 1 WIFE.. WTC?? kk, not really done la..so her explanation is divorce means its a sign of immaturity..so its a MISTAKE that person has made..so? she only said, ppl can change..then now its a unforgivable mistake, means that the person is incapable of changing for the better..plus, im not talking about the fact taht we live in an Islamic nation, so poligamy is approved.. (k, im not saying anything, cuz it is a religious rite, therefore if they act that way, doesnt that mean that they are more religious? plz correct me if im wrong) hmmm..kk, i should stop here la..pissing off la class today..a person who just stands in front of class and talks BS..haiz...A LOT to complain about her la..u want to noe more, just ask me on msn la..

cheers

like seriously, why?

k, i usually dont stay up this late on d com, but yea, had some stuff to check out..n i visited jo/smith's blog, n well, he posted something on being in a bad mood n how to over come it..

well, it got me thinking la..so he says like, live your days for others so that u can make their days brighter (rite jo?) but yea, i just thought, y isnt it that simple? y cant we just change our mindset? then d next question is, y MUST we change our mindset? y cant we just be in a bad mood?

i always thought that being sad was a bad thing, until one day when i was emoing and a friend told me that its good to emo, so i was puzzled by the statement..reason y its good is because if u are emoing, means that u have the ability to feel..so yea, i dont see sadness or emo as a bad thing anymore..

so k, after reading jo's post, i was thinking, y do ppl not act that way? of course a lot of psych theories did flood my thoughts, which i dont think i want to bore u guys with it, but yea..the fact is, when we are in a bad mood or watever, we are really really focused on ourselves, and most of the time, we are angry over something else, or over someone else, so it's hard to be nice to others when d problems comes from there..

hmm...so yea, a lot of philosophical thoughts..but yea, studying philo this sem, so yea, i think im going to get REALLY annoying after this sem..haha..basically philo is asking questions..haha..(like, REALLY REALLY the basics of philo)

Cheers

"MEANINGLESS! MEANINGLESS!" Says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless".

but everyone's doing it!

so yea, peer pressure..is it really bad? i mean do u guys think that its a bad thing? i noe i do..so yea, is it really? think about it..k la, maybe it is la..implications behind it is that "u dont have a brain", "cannot think for urself?" (heard all that before?) and so on..which maybe true but is it really?

k, IF it is such a bad thing, then y does it still exist? well, i would say that its a simple answer..human beings are social creatures..we have a sense of belonging, so by following a trend or by following a certain activity u feel that u are accepted by others..which is true..well, just say there is a group of ppl who play a certain game, like rugby n u want to talk to them..but u find that its soo hard, cuz they only talk about rugby..so how? some ppl think that just cuz they dont talk to them, the d group thinks that d person is some weird guy or a useless guy..but the truth is d group dont label u as useless (well im assuming these ppl are nice ppl la, like me, jo, ben, tommy, jh, cm n other ppl who think they are nice la..:p) but they just think that they cant relate to u..(just imagine if u had someone who came to ur group of friends and couldnt fit in) so yea, wat would u do? k i noe most of u would say this JUST to prove my point wrong, that u all would go find another group, but that is not d question..d question is, wat would u do to fit into that group? would u go and learn how to play rugby? or learn d rules?

of course la the situation isnt always like that la..yea, ppl do label u as a weird person, just cuz u dont do something that is in d norm..society uses peer pressure to be able to control everyone to be "normal"..y? if there is no control/ order, then there is chaos..

k, so is peer pressure still bad? well, in my humblest opinion, it depends on d situation..well, we are intellectual creatures and also have d ability to differentiate the difference of good and bad, right and left, (well most of the time) so yea, use ur intellect..the Bible is there to guide u also..so yea, somethings should be followed like talking to urself in public is not d normal thing ppl do (well, having a conversation kinda talking to urself, not thinking out loud), but others things that dont do much help to urself and to others, like smoking n other stuff shouldnt be followed..well, if u rationalize that u should do it, then really, i cant stop u la, go ahead..just make sure u have all d facts, all d pro's and con's..from my experience, a socially inept person, i remember getting into fights (fist fights) with other ppl, just because my friends said that i should, even though i had nothing against that person..y did i do it? well, if i didnt, i wouldnt have a story to tell u all now rite? haha..(pro or not, std 4-6 already planning to blog about this)

haha..k, thats all la..i guess..a bit lengthy for me..

Quote of the Day...

" Start the day with nothing in your head because by the end of the day, you will have nothing to lose.."

-Caleb George Mamman

hehe..talking about how i live my life..haha..explains y i talk a lot of crap..

Cheers

answer: bowl of soup

Why i dont do tags?

anyway, i think i should justify my actions right about now, so yea..

i dont do tags..y? k, honestly i've given A LOT OF reasons as to y i dont do it..which is all true..to be d most honest that i can be, i just dont feel rite about doing it..so y do i use all those reasons? well, i cant really explain d feeling, so thats y i use soo many reasons..so yea..i dont do tags..if u really want to noe me through random questions, just ask me..msn, e mail, phone, that is if ur sooo free..

k, latest update on my UNI stuff..hhaha..k, praise God, answers are coming in, thick and fast..well, at least now i can safely say that im going to Adelaide and in Febuary..at least i have d town and time settled, rite? haha..k, as i said about Flinders yesterday, well, that is my first choice, as it is like ranked 10th in Australia, compared to UNISA, which is not even on the list that i looked at..so yea..its also cool that they requirement for CGPA is 2.7 to enter, but even with my CGPA they said i can go over there..so yea, good Uni..so now im applying for Flinders U..so yea, hope i can go in without complications..if i cant, then there is always UNISA..haha..

Cheers..

Fasting ain't easy..

yea, although its coming from me, it really ain't easy.. i noe i dont eat much n i've skipped lunch sooo many times, that its enough to feed a small nation, its still difficult, cuz i usually eat as soon as i get hungry.. k, before all of u go like, "wat?" or "CALEB!! U'VE TURNED MUSLIM????!!!" im actually fasting for the future of 1st KL, as we need prayer..i've decided to fast from today onwards 02/09/08 - Retreat, which just soo happens to be on Raya, so yea, i'll be joining the muslims this fasting month..to the 1st kl ppl, feel free to join in and also plz do pray for us, as we need help with officers, where we do not have enough officers, both seniors and juniors..to the others, plz pray for us as well..

btw, if you join in the fast, do let me noe, so that we can keep each other accountable..

btw, just to update u guys on my current situation on my transfering, currently, i've been accepted by Flinders University, in Adelaide, but there is still some problems there still, which is i need to minor in something to get in, but d subjects that i've chosen dont really make a clear line for which area i can minor in..so yea, i MIGHT be there an extra semester, to like, minor in something..savvy? (k, dont mean that in a annoyed way..just using it more now..haha)

Cheers

Interesting path

k, just to let u guys noe (officially) my status of transfering is unkown at the moment, because of some complication in college, so i might transfer in febuary or in july, to UNISA (as of yesterday)

k, wat is d complication u ask? k, i need to do 24 subjects, n i've done 22 by the end of this sem, which im left with 2 more subjects, which are cognitive and biological psychology, and also human motivation, which are not offered this semester. SO the coll told me that they will ask the UNISA if it was alrite for me to do 2 other subjects, conflit resolution and methods in human services as a replacement. SO if the UNISA says its ok, then i will do it this sem, if its not ok n they say i can go over there and complete it there, then i will do that. IF they say cannot n i MUST finish it here at HELP, then i will have to go in july.

SO i went to see the clerk to check on my status, she says, there is still no reply, and classes start next week. SO how now? the clerk sent an email to the UNISA again to tell them to get back to her ASAP. SO she asks me then, is there any other uni that i would like to apply to, in case they do not reply me by this friday. SO my friend, who was sitting next to me was applying to Deakin UNI in Melbourne and also UNISA, so she asked if Deakin was ok..i said yes.

SO now the current situation is, i might go to Adelaide or Melbourne, in Febuary or in July. haiz, things are getting complicated before it can get simple..

Cheers

One of the Most Stupidest things i've Ever Done..

just happened yesterday..it was quite a dumb thing la, i was dumbfounded by it..

was in d car with isaak (my cuzin)heading to Summit to collect the band room key form a friend..then we missed d turning into d entrance of Summit, so had to go n make a few u turns..hehe..

anyway, there was 1 more u turn to make to get to the other side of the road where summit is, but that road is really really jammed..like, MASSIVE jam..anyway we called my friend (jason) to try to cross the road to the middle n just pass us the key, cuz we werent moving on d right most lane (cuz i want to make a u turn..so he couldnt cross d road, cuz the other side had a lot of cars zooming by..so finally he could!!

but our light just turned green, so like, 10 seconds before it did, i called him n said, " i see u, n if our light turn's green, dont cross d road, i will make a u turn.." he didnt hear d last part..so he crossed road, so i kinda like, threw isaak's phone at him (it felt like i did) opened the window, drive REALLY slowly, cuz d cars behind me were already honking..put my hand out, started accelerating a bit more, grabbed the key n said tnx, while hearing jason say, "good luck" i think..then zoomed off..made it past d light..sorry to d guy who could have made it, but didn't because of my 2 second delay..

HAHA!! it was sooo dumb la..looked like some illegal thing la..isaak said d car behind must think we are some drug dealers..haha..d best part is, i came ALL THE WAY FROM AMPANG TO JUST DO THAT..oo, the thing happened at like, 8.15 at nite..so tnx jason! owe u a drink or a meal (when i have money)..will explain wat went wrong that is if u dont noe la and PLEASE apologize to your dad, came all the way n didn't get the key..tnx isaak for coming along n showing me the way..i think i still noe d way! haha..

Cheers

SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THIS!!!!

K, here is a practice for our Friday performance..haha..sooooo looking forward for it!!

Dark Knight

k, watched d movie for d 2nd time, and yea, it actually is a good movie, so yea, i take back my comments on it..

k la, wat i really loved about d movie is actually d batman..they managed to capture his character REALLY well..at the end, he said "let me be d fall guy", i was soo impressed by the movie..thats how we should be.. when we do things, whether it is worship leading or just setting the chairs, its a job that just needs to be done..its not about the credit that u get for doing the thing, but it should be d importance of the thing..

the problem with us is that we want to get recognition for doing things..(well, some of us, if u dont think this is true) which is nothing wrong, but it shouldnt be d way u act by this rule..like the reason we do community service, or "good things"..it shouldnt be that u want to get into heaven, but it should be that u are showing gratitude to God for His mercy..when we do stuff, we should just do it cuz it needs to be done, instead of doing it to get something in return..if we get it, it should be a bonus..(this is like small stuff or really really important or big stuff, not talking about work, where u need to be paid rite?)

communication

very important thing in this world..haha, k la, im actually forcing myself to talk about this, cuz SOME PPL want me to update my blog now, so i apologize for d quality..(ben its all ur fault)

k, i think im done stating d obvious, so yea, i bet u guys notice rite, that a lot of times that ppl ask certain stuff that u kinda are like forced to decline or u are forced to say yes..like for example, "hey, can i ask for ur help?" but yea, k, i noe that some of u dont feel obliged to answer as pressured, but yea, ppl get pressured to be nice or to give d socially acceptable answer..esp when it concerns others feelings.." do u think i look fat?" so yea, guys are like forced to say no, or something like that..sorry la but i find that really annoying..if i think ur annoying, i will say i think ur annoying, but its not out of malice but its actually out of care cuz i want to see u grow or change to be better..honestly i use to think that if we all just spoke out our true feeling with no malicious content or tone in our voice, the world would be a better place, then again that is under d assumption that everyone wants to grow or wants to change for d better..

u can ask my BB friends, i tell them stuff that u cant imagine telling another person..i remember saying, " dude, ur breath stinks..im gonna wait for u to brush ur teeth before i talk to u"( that was like in d morning la, n we just woke up) but yea, d point is that i care about my friends la, n i expect my friends to tell me stuff like this also..imagine, there are ppl out there who are suffering uncomfortability because they dont want to hurt others feelings..well, then again, im a culprit also too..thats cuz certain things that ppl can take, like saying " i find u annoying" that is too mean, n i think can be only said to ppl who u noe can take a hit like that..if ur not sure, then dont try that..even if u noe d person can take a hit like that, always ask first..if not ur relationship with d person will surely suffer..if only ppl are open about themselves, then they can like change for d better..haiz.. this is y house rocks..

Cheers

Apa Sehari!

dont ask..

yea, today was not bad la..extremely interesting..got good stuff, bad stuff, secret stuff..dunno wat other stuff also..also got la..cool day..

haha, d secret stuff, only a select few will noe..(which would be most of u la..haha)

k, till then..

Cheers

What is a Josef?

What is a Josef to me...

My Mamak gang

My Futsal/Football gang

My Tennis partner

My Therapist

My Close Friend

My Brother

My CS gang

My Driver (;p)

My Host (when i come over)

My Person-To-Call-In-A-Crisis

My Roommate (when i stay over)

My Study-mate (History for SPM)

My Sneak-Around Buddy (the times u weren't allowed to leave the house)

My Partner in Crime (haha, dunno when we broke the law, but i felt i should write it)

My Cinema gang

My Director (how could i forget that! haha)

My Fun-To-Do-Things-With Buddy

My Fellow BB Member (yea, i remember u guys were trying to get me to join BB also, n i wanted to join a band..so i compromised..so thats y 1st kl)

My Fellow Church Member (haha, u guys made me attend church again)

My Fellow CCF-er

My Fellow Man United Fan (yea, became a fan because of u guys)


My Sunday Plans....

and soooooo many more la, cant list them all down..

saded..gonna miss u jo..and to think, i was using u to replace ben when he left (not intentionally, its a psych thing)..

sorry la ben didnt do a tribute for u..k, this is for u la (sorry la, a bit of an after thought, but it was inspired by ur post):

Same as d above minus tennis partner and Director, plus:

My Music Buddy

My Pro Guitarist

My Rock Band

My Computer Game Buddy

My Bass Guitar Teacher

My TV Buddy

My Fellow Car Enthusiast (remember we use to name all d sport cars?)


havent emo-ed over ppl this long before..not even for my sis when she went to us..

Too Emo

hey guys, sorry ya, should be posting up about the Nepal trip or something else by now, but yea, just too emo now..

gaaa..now i noe y i didnt go for ben's flight..(besides d fact i had class)..sigh...

Hitman's POV..

Relativity of Time..

haha, Einstein's theory..well, dont noe much about it la..but anyway, its quite useful when u think about it in terms of age..so yea, ppl are always worrying about their age, even coll students, but for what???!!! this is an over heard convo in coll.."hey, ur birthday is next week rite? ur turning 20! HAHA.." " yea, crap la.." (a third person id convo) " why la, wats wrong with 20?" "well, there is no more 1 anymore, becoming 2 already"

LIKE WTC??! how is that important? ur like still in coll, n still young..as it is said, ur only as old as u want to be..d only problem is, everyone is pressured to act as wat is perceived as d rite age..y? well, i guess that as humans, we want to see progress in our lives..

k, lets look from another perspective, if we all act as children or as adolescents, and d point is to avoid responsibility, so who will be running d joint? who would have done all d inventing of the light bulbs, telephones, and computers?

So here is both sides of d arguement..(well, im sure there is more) so yea, if u want a personal opinion, then i will say act as u want for as long as u can..sooner or later responsibility will be urs (even if u had a mental problem, God will still hold u accountable..) so just take it in ur stride..also, responsibility does not mean there is no fun..

"everything sucks, might as well find something to smile about" - House

Cheers

Being a Shoppaholic

haha..yea..imagine, i like spent TOOOOO MUCH MONEY YESTERDAY..(haha, tnx chris, im now also always trying to save money like u..)

so yea, here is all d stuf i bought yesterday..
k, d black sticks, 33, d normal pair, 40, d drum pad 95, and d drum key was 12..finally, not in d pic was d ticket to the drum workshop, which was 35..so the grand total i spent just yesterday was.....215!! i think..(didnt use a calculator, so haha..plz double check)k, so since no ticket to show in d pic, i took photos during d show..

Side view of the drum set..^



haha, sorry about the sound..it was quite loud, so d sound got a bit distorted..

Front view n that was how close we were to d stage..2nd row!..^

Simon Phillips!..haha, k, i never heard of him, but he is a pro drummer..^

Simon Phillips teaching some warm ups..^

quite a col effect? seems like everything around is like moving except d drums..^

So yea..haha..btw, try to guess his age..1 of d questions that was asked was, how do i become as good as a drummer as u? n he said, well, if u had 47 years of playing.....

i was like, WTC??!! thought he was joking..so i asked my friend beside me his age, n d guy in front of me over heard me, n he said, 51..???!!!!! WTCCC???!!!!! that guy?! torn jeans and a t-shirt???!!!

anyway, like in d vids above, those are the stuff i learnt..haha..i think im a simon phillips fan now..haha..(btw, d ticket was totally worth it)

Cheers

Chameleon

so yea, wat do u think when u read d title? Was it positive or negative? k la, it may have been neutral, like u might have just thought of d animal as seen in the pic..so yea, think of it as a human quality, so how is it? positive or negative or neutral?

well, at first i thought of it as a good thing, cuz ur able to like blend into any kind of background. So thinking that it is a good quality, i tried ( am trying) to adopt this quality. Well, so its been years now, and there are some glitches in being a chameleon. k la, its cool la, ur able to talk to(mix around with) all kinds of people, and everyone somehow likes u, or are ok with u..but d problems about being a chameleon is that u dont really have a stand about certain topics, well, u might la, but ur almost willing to put it aside and listen to wat others say..so yea, it confuses u on ur stand..(well, this is from my experience la..im sure others are fine) so yea, after awhile of being a chameleon, u start to wonder, which is my true colours? is it when ur at home? when ur alone? when ur with a certain group of friends? which is it? also after awhile of changing colours, i've like gotten use to the change, and also i "change" colours at a certain rhythm; mon-fri coll(mixed bunch of ppl), sat BB (mostly KL ppl, and quite a strong chinese cultural background, seriously no offense, i dont noe how else to word it), sun church(mostly PJ ppl and cuzins, which is more of a western culture compared to the KL ppl la, again no offense) and also not to mention family, and finally my alone time; so yea, im just soo use to the changing, that when i get stuck to one type, i kinda get uncomfortable, cuz i "need" to change..

so yea, at times it may seem like as though im being moody or emoing by being alone and not talking to ppl, its actually just that im acknowledging the other groups that i hang out with by being alone and thinking about the memories that i have.. also one thing about trying to be a chameleon is that when you are with different groups, it takes energy to like keep the personality that u have, so yea, eventually u run out of energy.. another down side of being a chameleon is that ppl dont get to noe u properly..they just kinda noe ur alter ego, then suddenly find a whole new side of u that they might find weird.. does that sound familiar? there are psychologist that argue that ppl ARE chameleons, where we act differently in different situations, which is true..but not all ppl are like that rite? anyway thats a whole new debate.. k la, we all act differently in different situations, but there are still some characteristics that are still the same throughout the whole time..what im talking about is changing almost all of ur characteristics, like for example, ppl noe me as a quiet guy, and also a noisy guy..so u can say im an introvert and an extrovert and the ppl who noe me as d introvert get surprised that others describe me as a loud and noisy guy, n vice versa..haha, does that make sense? if it doesnt, then its a good topic to think about and come up with ur own conclusion..

Cheers