yea, found another breathing space to blog a bit..still sick..but anyway, this all is nothing compared to sunday la..was one of the most (k, i dont want to say its d most, cuz i cant seem to recall any other day that is worse, but im sure that there is so just to be safe) depressing days of m life...it can be considered the last time i will play bass for worship..k i noe, im being selfish n the main point is to worship God..but yea, i realize that i truly worship God and give thanks through playing bass..which im really gonna miss.. need to find others ways of praising and worshiping God now..
besides that, from a more psychological POV (point of view), one of my ultimate goals is to be in a rock band n rock out on stage n the closest thing to that is to play for worship, which is actually a wrong mentality when you play..to be in the worship team, its is more important that u are well founded in God and play to worship Him, instead of playing to satisfy ur needs..but yea, when i play, i truly, TRULY play to worship God..
Dont really sing cuz u realize that i end up just singing to follow the mass, and i dont meditate on the words..Now, when im worshiping, i dont sing, but just stand there and read the words, meditating on it, trying to truly mean it..
So yea, am depressed..looking for ways to come out and to replace my mode of worshiping God..
Cheers..
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