Monday, December 29, 2008

For the longest of times..

haha, yea its been like the longest of times since i last updated this blog, but yea, if u noe me well enough, december is the MOST busiest time of the year for me..so yea, exams ended, youth camp went by, sister is back from the US which is the reason why u dont really see me online cuz she is, christmas, and falling sick as well..haha..anyway, here is to all, MERRY BELATED CHRISTMAS!! and A LITTLE EARLY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Anyway, apart of all that is said above, my grandma also passed away on 21st morning, so this post is dedicated to her..

Ever heard the story of the children's story about a baby mouse that ran into a chicken and a cat? if u haven't here is the story..

a baby mouse comes running into the house and she/he/it (which ever makes u happy) runs to him/her/it's mother and says, "mummy! mummy! you cant believe the day that i've had!!" so the mother decides to sit the baby mouse down and the baby tells the mother the story..

"i went out to play with my other friends, and we played for the longest of times, but suddenly 2 giant figures approached us and all my friends ran away. But i decided to stay and see what the giant figures were like. the first one was very loud, looked ugly and was very rough. The second giant looked very soft, quiet, and seemed very nice to be with. I tried to go close to the soft n nicer giant to play with it because it looked friendly, but the ugly giant was always coming between us and kept blocking me and making a lot of noise from getting to the softer and quieter giant. So I got scared of the 1st giant that i ran home to you."

The mother mouse then hugged the baby mouse and said the it/her/him "that was the smart thing to do". The baby mouse then asked the mother mouse, "why is that mummy, and what were the two giants?"

So the mother answers, "Darling baby, the first giant was a rooster, and the rooster is loud because it is his responsibility to wake all of us up. The second giant my child was a cat, and cat's eat mice, that is how your father died, because he got too close to the cat. So the rooster saw that the cat was near you and he decided to take care of u by warning u and keeping you away from the cat."

And so the baby mouse learnt her/his/it's lesson in life and stayed away from the cat and decided to go and play with the rooster from then on..the end..

k, besides the fact that the baby mouse is able to comprehend death, and is able to venture outside alone without supervision, this story always reminded me of amachi (which is what we call our grandma) It was sad that she had developed dementia when i just started to mature and start to focus on others then always looking to have fun..so my memories of her when i was a child was she being strict..comparing her to my dad's mum, i always would prefer to visit her, because i did have more fun there, on the count that there was a computer i could play games on and also cuzins to hang out with..

My mum's grandparents lived in Sungai Petani in their own house, and she use to always make us follow a schedule, lunch is at 1, dinner at 7.30, and breakfast at 9am..well, judging from my size, i didnt really enjoy eating, but when i was at their house, i actually liked the food, and i would actually eat all the food that amachi cooked..my mum use to always say that i put on weight when i went there..but other than that, she use to also always make sure we dont always spend the time watching TV, and make us go outside to play, but she was rather protective about her garden, which gave me the impression that flowers dont die, because she always kept the garden in bloom..

anyway, she was rather protective of her garden, so i remember her scolding us if we played football, because we would sometimes kick the ball into her flowers, and so she would come out and scold us, which led us to play badminton more..

i did tell my mum taht i found amachi too strict, but my mum always said, "when you get older you would understand" well, although now im not that much older, but i finally learn to appriciate all her rules, and actually see that she is actually always looking out for us..i may not have said much just now to prove this point, but if u were there, you could feel it somehow..well, i noe i did..the schedule always made sure that we led a well balanced life..mornings to either study or watch tv, and afternoons also the same, while evenings were always were to play outdoors..

i think i can say that all of her grandchildren have heard stories of amachi being the kindest person where her house was always open to anyone who needed a place to stay, and well, now looking back, i would say that we have experienced it too, where everytime we went over to stay, amachi was never in a bad mood or acted in ways that didn't want all of us there..the house sometimes would be over crowded, where we would sleep in the tv room, living room, and almost everywhere, and what surprises me now is that how we always had mattresses to sleep on, like there would be 30 people sleeping in 1 house..quite amazing..

during her latter years, when she started developing dementia (it is a disease that causes an individual to lose their memory) she use to always ask me, because i use to hang around my cuzin's house, where she and my grandpa was living when she developed it, and she use to always ask me, "Mone (pronounced as mo- ne, sounds like more-nare), where is your mummy? how is she doing?" and i would always answer, "she is at home amachi and she is fine amachi" then she would nod in acknowledgement, and five minutes later asks me the same question again, and i would answer..i never minded answering her, because i felt really sad for her, because that was like the only conversation i could ever hold with her..but yea, anyway what i really saw from her is that she was always thinking of others, which i find really amazing, cuz i just find it super hard to constantly think of others all the time..so thank you amachi for all that you have given us..I am really sorry for that one time that i shouted at you, which I myself have forgotten what it was about, but i remember just shouting at you, amachi..God Bless and see you in heaven..

Cheers and rest in peace..