Reopened wounds..

Dear Lord,

did i do what was right? I know in my heart that it is wrong, but I hit the nail square on the head..

Why, oh Lord, doesn't anyone listen to me?

I thought I was changed, looks like I'm not..

I thought I had one last chance to reverse this curse..seems like everyone's just blinded by it..

Maybe it's me..maybe what I've said is wrong? is it? it just doesn't add up logically if it is wrong..

Maybe I should move on..bigger and better things lie ahead, but I choose to stay behind, to come back, only to revert to old ways, and old feelings stir in my heart..

Is this the work of the devil? I pray oh Lord that you protect us from harm..

Why Lord, do i waste so much energy to put up a front, a facade, a mask, in a place where I should be accepted? Is that why I am so bitter inside? I am just not accepted as who I truly am?

People always say, "talk about it, you'll feel better after that.." Well, I've tried..not once, but may times, but things are still the same..

Oh Lord, you know how much I'm trying to change myself..But nobody else notices this..but i guess that is my fault for not sharing it in the first place..but when i do share, it always seems to back fire on me..

Oh Lord, I just want to serve You, but serving You means denying myself, something I am struggling with, I just pray Lord that I am able to do this..and that what others will say does not affect me Lord..

I thank you Lord for giving me a loving family, friends, and organisations that look into my spiritual growth..

I just pray oh Lord that You will be a guiding light in all their lives, and that Your truth will prevail..

Let us not lean on our own understanding but on Your wisdom..

Again I am sorry Lord, for what I've said or done..it may have even reflected badly on You Lord, so here I am begging for Your forgiveness..

Amen

Over-zealous?

Something that has been in my thoughts for quite some time..Mostly when i am serving in the UniSA comm, which is advice that has always been given to us by previous comm or experienced people is to pace ourselves, and not to be over-zealous, because we are students, and we will start out with big plans, but it will never turn out the way we want it to, because everything gets busy and studies will start to crowd our time..

BUT what ive seen with my own eyes is that, everything is achievable as long as we keep our minds on the task and PLAN OUR TIME properly, AND everything checks out with logic and reasoning..it's also a question of motivation..so yea, there is a conflict of interests..the best way to explain this is through an example or 2..in BB, i've had the privilege to be involved with organizing the BB day, which housed about 500 people..SO yes, in organizing the events, we were deciding to do things that were out of the norm, yet keeping the same traditions, so that people would experience new things..anyway, in our meetings, we had many ideas, some even far fetched, unachievable, of which we decided as a committee to go with anything that we found interesting AND had significance to the day..so we did have ideas that were, not all that logical to do, but we did it, because we planned out our time really well..in the end, i do believe most people enjoyed their time they had on that day..

there are actually many factors that are involved in planning or organizing anything,..but most importantly is the importance of the activity or the event. If the thing we plan to do is does not follow the general theme or calling, then there is little reason you should do such a thing..

not too sure if you guys get what im talking about, not really thinking straight, am a little sick, so yea..but yea, this has been bugging me, and i realized that i havent been really blogging much..so yea..haha..

Cheers and God Bless

Thanks to those who wished..

K first of all, i just want to say thanks to those who wished me, but don't noe why you guys did so, cuz i dont have a birthday..

well, the purpose i say that is because, i really dont see the point in celebrating..i guess its because ever since i was young my parents never celebrated my birthday, as in had a party for me, except like, once, which i recall having a really terrible time, because my sister invited most of her friends, i think, and she pretty much had all the fun..selfish no? or should i say jealous, being that i didnt want anyone to have more fun than me..

so anyway, from that point on, i never really had birthdays, and eventually i started to reject the idea that i even need to have a birthday..

so yes, this is some of the logic (it may not even seem logical to you, but it is my reasoning as to why i choose not to celebrate my birthday) first it comes to, why do we celebrate birthdays? to remember and to cherish people? so yea, i dont see the point in only doing that for just a single day in the whole year..next, i dont see the point of a person to go around telling other people when their birthdays are, because it is pretty, self-centred, in my opinion, because, if u are special enough, people WILL choose to remember your birthday..u dont need to go remind ppl..its like saying, "hey! im special! come remember me!!"

next, to be honest, i really dont think it is such a good use of our time..i mean, we can use that time to save lives..win souls..but yea, again, to be honest its not like we are always doing that too..so its not wrong to celebrate a birthday..just dont see the point..

So again, thanks for the wishes, really means a lot..

Cheers and God Bless

A story of a story?

K, first of all, i must clarify, the bible is not a story..in a sense that it is not fabricated, but it is the truth..So yes, read about this story in my devotional material (haha, the song Little Devotional by Taking Back Sunday just ended) and saw this video from a friends blog..and well, it really got me thinking..why do we need to retell the same story but in a different context?

Well, what can be seen from this video is that it is to give people (i guess people who are not christians or dormant christians) an idea of what God went through..But what i would say that i must mention is that Jesus did not "fall" into such a situation, and God was not given such a hard choice, but God CHOSE to send His only begotten son..i think it is important to mention this is because, if the point of this whole video is so that we are able to understand the hurt God went through, it is much more of a difficult choice when you know what you have to do, and plan and tell your son about the plan and then send him and watch him suffer..in this vid, the father suddenly was given a choice to make with not much time left to think..

And from there, here is a question that comes to my mind, "so after watching a video like this, what do you feel? and is that enough?" i mean yea, you go, "aww.." or even reflect on what you've just saw..but then what? does it really change your life? if it does then great! (not being sarcastic) but my main question is, does knowing what God has gone through really help YOU? well, it should, because then we are able to understand the magnitude of God's love for us..

So from there we need to take it to the next step..how? following His word and commandments, which are Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your strength and love your neighbour as yourself (Matt 22:37-40)..fortunately or unfortunately, it is as simple as that..and the sad thing is, we don't do these commandments..

to be fair to this video, it is a great video, which really does it's job..but my post is really more directed to what we should do after watch a video like this..because after a vid like this, you will feel something inside, and what should be done with that feeling..and yes, i am speaking from experience, in a sense that this is what i've learnt from my experience and wish to share with you guys (I really dont want to give the impression that what i've experienced is right and others is wrong, it is just my experience)..

sometime last year, i did have a thought "I wonder how God felt when He saw Jesus suffer and died..if i could imagine just a glimpse of what He felt.." and i did pray about it..so one day my dad came back with this adorable (i dont want to use the word 'cute') little miniture poodle puppy..she was only the size of my palm..and we decided to name her Mocha (if you're wondering what she looked like, click on the link)..she just grew on me instantly, and i could just spend hours with her, even when she slept, i just couldnt leave her..cuz she would wake up and start whimpering..anyway, one day she fell sick, ironically it was an illness which is contracted by other dogs and there is no cure, only a vaccine which she was supposed to get in a weeks time..so we took her to the vet and the vet said that we had to put her to sleep..i mean, it really hurts..it still hurts..but yea, didnt really understand why, until one day i was at youth camp, during an alter call, where it finally hit me..God answered my prayer..

its quite beautiful if you realize it, God's love for us..but yea, if you did get such a revelation after watching the video or even reading my story, i really just hope that you would either dig deeper and find out more.. or if you really know what all this is about, then i just hope and pray that you would do something about it..

Cheers and God Bless

My Blue Heaven

Two sides twist and then collide
You're calling off the guards (Am I coming...)
I'm coming through (Am I coming...)
Adulteress conditioned to a spin cycled submission
"You know, sometimes it just feels better to give in"
(Sometimes it just feels better to give in)

And it's all too familiar
And it happens all the time
All the cards begin to stack up
Twisting heartache into fine, little pieces that avoid an awful crime
But it's you I can't deny

Dull heat rises from the sheets
I'm both a patient boy... well, and a jealous man
(Am I coming?)
But double standardized suspicion is remedied
Oh, My Blue Heaven
Sometimes it just feels better to give in
(Sometimes it just feels better to give in)

And it's all too familiar
And it happens all the time
All the cards begin to stack up
Twisting heartache into fine, little pieces that avoid an awful crime
But it's you I can't deny

We swing and we sway as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing
"You're safe child, you are safe"
(You're safe child, you are safe)
You're safe child, you are safe

We swing and we sway as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing
"You're safe child, you are safe"
you're safe child, you are...

SAFE!!
(Safe, safe)
You are, safe
We swing and we sway as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing
"You're safe child you are safe" (Am I coming...)
You're safe child you are safe (Am I... coming through?)
Is this all too familiar?
Does it happen all the time?
I'm just asking you to hear me
Could you please, just once, just hear me?
More than anything you wanted to be right
Still it's you, you,
It's you I can't deny,
(You I can't deny)
It's you I can't deny.

Cheers and God Bless

Simple minds are easily entertained..haha..thanks Song Yeu

Cheers and God Bless

i think i need a breather...

kids these days....hiaz..thats all i wanna say..3 years of uni, thats what it does to you..haiz..this is going to be interesting..

sometimes i just wonder in amazement..how can u complain about a 2000 word report??! i mean, come on! its only 2000 words...can do it in 6 hours OR LESS...just dunno man..dont get it at all..besides that, you have all d time in the world to do d assignment, but u choose till last minute to do it....then always complain uni life is hard..it is just a freakin degree mate! haven't even gone to honours yet or even masters and you are complaining about a freakin degree??!haiz..i guess im just annoyed because its my third year, and i've gotten quite accustomed to what to write and do stuff...basically, i use to do 5000 word reports within 12 hours..as in i would start at 9pm and end at about 6 am, and that is short of 12 hours..but i dont wanna do that anymore..cuz i wanna do my best, but even when doing my best, i can still plan and manage my time so that it doesnt affect anything else...

anyway, i am basically ranting here, dont take it personally..i've written this post in such a way that when i say you, i am refering to me..but it also refers to ppl who annoy me..n that is for me to noe and you to not find out..dont worry, dont think anyone who annoys me reads this blog anyway..

Cheers and God Bless

Much to say, lest the time..

Yea, I noe the title is grammatically wrong..but it sounds cool! think i should try poetry..might help foster my lyric writing (to those who don't noe, i've tried writing songs, but the lyrics sound weird and some of which dont really rhyme)..

Anyway, yea, i just couldn't take it anymore..i've been too distracted about writing a post on this blog rather than doing my assignment..and MAN how i wished i could write when i wanted to..at the moment i have no inspiration to write about anything, but i still want to..but yea, its been hectic, probably won't write again until like, 24 November, exams end then..



anyway, just to share what i've learnt from being here..the science of commenting..being that i've been in quite a number of situations where i've needed to give my input on situations, usually it involves around organizing things or even character building..anyway, i've almost always had to give a comment on how to do things or how to improve..so from what i've learnt is that being genuine all d time is not productive in building a person..

alright, u noe how they say when u are giving criticism, you need to give positive criticism, which is giving a compliment or giving good feedback first before you give d "bad" evaluation..well, i realized that it doesnt work..here is how it doesnt work..k, u noe how after you do something, for instence playing drums for worship, then people come to u and they say, "good job!" or "you did great!" but u dont really listen to them, because these are ppl who always say the same thing every time u play drums..i'm not saying that they dont mean it, they do, but they say that because they may not play drums, so to them u did sound good..

so yea, the only reason u dont listen to them is because they are not drummers, and u would like to get praise from ppl who noe drums rite? In the same way, when u use positive criticism, ppl will disregard the first part of your comment..and from there they will only take the "bad" part of the comment..

K, i've used inverted commas twice for the word 'bad'..why do i say the "bad" part? this is something ben brought to my attention, that ppl dont like to be evaluated or judged..not everyone anyway..what ppl in general dont like is getting bad judgements..so, when ppl ignore the praise or the positive side of the comment, because we might see it as a cover-up for the bad part, they just listen to the "bad" part and that leads them to feel that they are being judged all the time..

and That is not Christian at all..BUT at the same time we need to build one another up, rite? How to refute someone who is doing something wrong without them feeling judged? that is something i dare not even attempt to answer..BUT i will give u a case scenario..i am co-bible study leader with a person (let's call that person 'A') So, it is A's first time leading, and A is a pretty good leader, but he/she is pretty nervous, and for the first bible study meeting that A leads didn't turn out that well..and so we did our own evaluation about how it went, and we give feedback and comments on what to improve on..d 2nd time A leads he/she didnt do too well again, because he/she was nervous, again..again, evaluation we gave our feedback..afther that week, I decided to stop giving feedback, because the underlying reason A is nervous is because he/she doesn't want to be judged and i realised that giving our comments or feedback is not helping the situation..SO the 3rd time A led, he/she did a really good job..during the evaluation, i just said that he/she did a fantastic job, even though there is some criticism to be given, but it was counter-productive..

from there, i learnt that if u want to build a person up, u dont have to always give your opinion or even feedback..this is VERY applicable to BB life, and mentorship in a church..you need to be able to read the other person's needs really well, and understand the underlying problems (hmm, sounds quite psych-ish) but that is what is needed..it is a science to study the intricacies of criticism or commentting..

Cheers and God Bless..

Refuse to Forget

This may seem as a weird post to some, and to others it may seem that I am overreacting..I mean, I've been thinking about this the whole day and I think that I may be overreacting to the situation..but I guess it is important for me to not forget...really, just refuse to forget what had happened..

woke up on time for church, but decided to snooze a little, which made me late for the bus, so had to catch d next bus which only came like, half an hour later..so yea, caught the bus, got off at my stop, at 9.05am church starts at 9am, and it is about a 5 min walk to church..for those who don't know adelaide, my church is situated in the red-light street, as the pastor of the church has a great conviction to move the church there, as we should be reaching out to the broken..so yea, was late, and naturally i was walking as fast as i can, and as i walked i saw this lady just sitting by the sidewalk..she looked really stoned..like, she didn't look right..but yea, i just walked by..

so yea, in church, i felt really bad, cuz i was just too focused on getting to church..PLUS on friday night, i led worship, and the theme I chose was to help non-christians get an idea what or who Jesus is to us, and for the christians, to remember when they first came to know Christ, how it felt like and also the promises they have made then..So yea, i was trying to help people to get closer to Christ, but I couldn't just stop and check if the lady by the side of the street was alright..i mean what's d point of singing worship songs and going around calling yourself a christian if u cant do a simple thing as just stopping to care for someone..

hope you can understand what i'm saying..i mean yea, i feel really bad..and i know, if i did stop, and i did check if she was ok, and turns out that she snaps at me, because she thinks i'm trying to take advantage of her, i would still feel bad, because i would think "i could have approached the situation better"..so basically, no matter what the outcome is, i would feel bad, because i am not able to help her..thats y Jesus is just soo great..the song magnificient played while i was tying out this section, and the lyrics really struck me..because No one ever will compare to You Jesus....just wanted to make a note of that..but yea, evangelism really isn't that difficult, where you don't need to attend any classes or workshops, although it does really help you refine your skills, but evangelism is just as simple as stopping to ask someone if they are ok..

thats y i've been thinking about it, and i've decided to still post about this, to say that i refuse to forget this incident..because if i forget, then history is doomed to repeat itself..BUT i also understand that I can't walk around with a chip in my heart, always beating myself up for not stopping, as God is gracious enough to show me mercy, i should also be able to forgive myself for my actions..so yea, can't cry over spilt milk..

It's not ok with what i've done, but what's done is done..

Cheers and God Bless

Up All Night!

It's happen again..but this time it was a coincidence..Windows Media Player somehow manage to play a different playlist than wat i had, so im now like high on old music..and when i say old music, what i mean is music that i havent heard in a LONG time..so yea, its like..WHOA..i mean, I am tired, but i just cant go to bed..the adrenalin is just pumping..or it could also be endorphins..either way, i am high on music..

anyway, this is a line of a song or even a verse that caught my attention while typing this post..it is from Lost by Coldplay..

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

If your wondering, why did that catch my attention, i have no idea, but i think this is something that ben would quote..so ben, this is for u..haha..enjoy..

Cheers and God Bless..

I miss futsal..i think the number one thing i miss about malaysia is the futsal..haha..futsal here is distorted! only get to play like, hit the crate with friends, which is fun by the way..but yea, miss futsal more than food (bet some of you are going "blasphemy!") but yea..i guess its cuz i bought new futsal shoes, and they fit oh-so perfectly..feels sooo good when i make acurate passes or even shots..feels like my skills have improved, but i guess it could be because of the shoes..

either way, I miss futsal!

Cheers and God Bless

Of the Forgotten and the Unremembered..

Not really what comes to mind after reading the title eh? But yea, the last match i've ever watched was last season's matches..champion's league loss to barca..quite sad.. but yea this season, just have not been able to remember to watch d matches..was watching some games last night i think, on u tub, like the best goals, top 20 players, and great matches, like the 7-1 win over AS Roma..it reminded me of how exciting it is to watch manchester united play..so yea, match 2moro! looking forward to watching it!

VIVA LA MANCHESTER UNITED!!



also, if you guys noticed, it is September 11..and well, i noe im not American (although I am related to the country) I still feel that i should honour the victims of 9-11..honestly, i wasnt that much affected by what happen, mostly cuz i was sleeping when it happened..but still it was unfair that it happened, but it is God's plan, and rest-assured, it will all turn out right..was just watching the morning talk show this morning, and the ppl on the show said that many great things have happened because of the attacks, like Obama's election to office..

so yea, today really is a day of remembering..for me anyway..

Cheers and God Bless

Facades of life...

Those who have been following my blog posts from the beginning, you know that I've been talking about these soo many times, that even I'm getting sick of it..but yet again, i need an outlet to release my repression of my feelings..SO yes..this time it is more reflective than me complaining of the fact that im tired of always masking up..im surrounded by lovely ppl..i mean these are ppl who really look out for me, and just want to help me (of course im talking about a certain few, if u genuinely care for me, u are the certain few) so yea, when u meet these ppl, 1st question asked is "so how have you been?"

what i want to know is what do you guys answer? is it "fine", "great" or do u tell them how u are actually doing? k, im not saying that u always give a false answer, but im asking when ur not feel great or awesome, do u tell d truth or do u just give an answer to not get ppl to worry about you? i mean, for me, i will answer, "alright" cuz i dont want to tell the person how im feeling, cuz usually when i do, i have to explain the whole story and i dont really want to..

k, this is my experience, someone asks me how am i, and i answer not good..so think about what is the logical reaction, cuz the fact that im comfortable enough to confide in you that im not feeling good makes u think that we are close, cuz it is within our customs to only share how we truly feel with close friends or family..SO, when u hear me say im not feeling alright, u will then ask the next question, "how come?" and that compels me to answer that question..

the problem is, we are making small talk, and i dont want to go into any deep discussions about how im feeling, im just answering a question truthfully..k, why cant i just say that i dont want to talk about it when u ask d 2nd question? well, it depends on context..sometimes, i AM supposed to be sharing certain things with certain ppl, but im just not that close with them..sometimes, based on what i said earlier, when i give that answer, it would contridict what was assumed earlier, that we are close (mentioned in the paragraph above this) and this might lead you to feel weird (or it may not, cuz i dunno what is going through ur head) but it makes the moment in time pretty awkward, cuz patterns of conversations usually start off pretty shallow and moves into more deeper topics and generally it doesn't work the other way..so by saying things aren't alright, i've made d convo a deep one, and then saying i dont want to talk about it makes it hard to bring it back to a more shallow topic..

so is wearing social masks a wrong thing? honestly, i dont noe any more..but from what i learnt, it is nessacary to avoid social awkwardness..in a sense, social interactions have not evolved to the level that im picturing, where u can tell people ur not doing alright and they understand that they dont have to probe into finding out why..cuz the only reason i told u im not doing alright is because im telling u d truth..not because i want u to find out what is wrong..

k, if ur wondering if this post is inspired by any interactions we have had, well, it might be, n it might not..honestly i cant remember which ppl i've talked to and experienced what i have, but take comfort that i always wear a mask, and i try my absolute best to tell the truth all the time..which is why i always use words that are quite ambigous like, "im doing alright" (k, when i use alright, im saying that i am not feeling rock bottom) "good enough" and many more examples..im not even sure if what i've said is biblical, or is right in God's eyes, but i don't really see anything wrong, if you do, please do tell me..so till then, i will mask up, only because i dont want to trouble you..(btw, this entire post is about ppl who im not close with..if im close with u, then it is not about u..)




Cheers and God Bless

Posso parlare italiano?

translated, the title means, can I speak Italian? and yes, to those who have watched The Godfather, you would know that there are quite a number of dialogs that are done in Italian (and to those who haven't, u better go watch it, if you know what is good for u)..but yea, i've downloaded a version of the movie that doesn't come with subtitles, so yes, i decided to watch the movie anyway..i have taken italian as an elective in HELP a couple of years ago, i think, and listening to the dialog in italian, im catching some words here n there and it kinda helps me with the story..hehe..

also, i just watched and read the lyrics of this song, which is a Latin song called Historia di Un Amor (if im not mistaken the word 'di' is spelt 'de' in Latin, am i right? I am just spelling it according to Italian rules), which translated means Story of a Love, and yea, reading d Latin lyrics also sparked some words that cross over from italian..so yes, my point is that its pretty cool, n also the song is SUPERBLY HIGHLY emo..here is the lyrics in latin (for Smith to practice his Spanish..:p) and also in English..but yea, d song, whoa! and ppl say im quite emo, im nothing compared to this man! By the way, i did come across this video and lyrics from a friend's blog, but I dont think that he/she would want me to reveal their blog address..so the only reason im telling u guys this is so that i dont get d credit of finding the song..he/she did..

Ya no estás más a mi lado, corazón.

En el alma sólo tengo soledad.

Y si ya no puedo verte,

¿Por qué Dios me hizo quererte?

¿Para hacerme sufrir más?

Siempre fuiste la razón de mi existir.

Adorarte para mi fue religión.

Y en tus besos yo encontraba

El calor que me brindaba

El amor y la pasión.

Es la historia de un amor,

Como no hay otro igual.

Que me hizo comprender

Todo el bien, todo el mal.

Que le dio luz a mi vida,

Apagándola después.

¡Ay que vida tan oscura!,

¡Sin tu amor no viviré!

Es la historia de un amor.

You're no longer by my side, my love

And in my soul I have only loneliness

If I can no longer see you

Why did God make me love you?

To make me suffer more?

You were the reason for my existence.

Adoring you, for me, was religion.

In your kisses I've found

The warmth that gave me

The love and the passion.

That's the story of a love.

Which has no equal

That made me understand

All the good, all the bad

That gave light to my life

Then turned it off.

Oh what a dark life!

Without your love I will not live!

That's the story of a love.

Cheers and God Bless

Merdeka Day..

I just realised that this is my first Merdeka Day I'm spending outside of Malaysia..So yes, i decided to take some time off just to share and to remember Malaysia and also be thankful for our independence..

K, to those who don't noe what is Merdeka Day, it is Malaysia's Independence Day..31 August 1957..and yes, i noe quite a number of people think Malaysia is screwed up (and i might be one of them..MIGHT), but it is still home and we should still be glad that we've acheived our independence..

I mean, think about it, I live in a country where you learn 2 languages (other than your mother tongue) which is pretty cool..and for ppl like me, who don't speak my mother tongue, at least i have another language to communicate in..other than that, malaysia is multicultural, where me, being an indian guy, manage to hang around and even be merged in the chinese culture, which is pretty cool..im also happy for the fact that Malaysia was colonized by the British, because now i have soccer to look forward to..

if u really think about it, there is a lot of things to be thankful for being in Malaysia, which i feel sometimes we do take for granted..of course im not saying that if u feel that you have been mistreated by the system or by certain ppl that u should ignore your feelings (if u get what i mean)..what im trying to say is to love the country, the people but not certain actions and decisions that have been taken (im not spesifically refering to anything)..so yes, to all Malaysians reading this, Happy Merdeka Day..



Cheers and God Bless

Just when u think u cant get weirder..

Do you guys know about the Stroop effect? it is this experiment where u need to just name the colour of the word and not the word..a pic below is the example..



so yea, the theory is that you would find it harder to name the colour if it doesnt match the word..eg. saying red for the word "purple"..so the experiment is timed, and it is measures 2 different conditions, 1st is colours that are same as the word eg. red and the other condition is the colour is different from the word, eg blue..so, by right, your reaction time for saying the colour that is different to the word would be longer compared to the reaction time of saying the colour that is the same as the word because we normally read the word than focus on the colour of the word, so for us to say the colour, we need to focus more and that takes more time..we did this experiment today n here is my results..

Word and font same : 680.06665 miliseconds
Word and font different : 619.1667 miliseconds

own rite?

Cheers and God Bless

It's about a feeling that has no meaning..

not bad eh? haha..not sure if the title even makes sense, but i like it..haha..


So yes..y suddenly a post about love? ESPECIALLY since i've like just posted something like a couple of days ago? well, i was reading ppl's blogs, and what i find interesting is that this topic keeps popping out..the topic of "love"..and yea, this of course intrigued me, because i saw a pattern, and i guess as psyshologists (and scientist) when a pattern is noticed, it must be studied..but yea, im not doing a study..who am i to do a study? hehe..

anyway, as i said, i noticed that ppl like to talk about love quite abit..so yea, what i've noticed is that in blog posts, ppl are trying to define the idea of what is "love" or maybe trying to search for the meaning..and well, u can get into technicalities, like the oxford dictionary's definition or what ever..and well, usually it also revolves around the fact that the english language only has 1 word to describe that feeling, which is love..so, u can say that defining the meaning to the english word is like trying to use a blunt tool..

So, what has intrigued me the most is the fact that ppl WANT to define the word..Why can't ppl accept the fact that love is love? it doesn't need to be defined..well, the obvious answer would be that because ppl want to be clear about which definition of love they are talking about..like when a person says " i love my dog" they dont mean it in a romantic kind of way (well, at least i hope so)

So yea, that's d obvious reason out of the way..what i noticed is that ppl are trying to look for a deeper meaning for love, especially when it is between ppl.. it could be romantic, sibling or even parental love, but ppl try to find a true meaning to it..i mean u think about it, doesnt it have like a common theme running through each type (of which im talking about love between people)?

well, i could actually try to strucutize it and find a way to label each theme that is running through love, but that would take too long, and i've gotta sleep soon and all that i would have done would be beating around the bush and finally coming to this point, so yea, here is my point..

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (New International Version)

this is really the best way to define love (hopefully by now you guys noe what i mean) but yea, love is not just a feeling, for all feelings require u to act out physically..when ur happy ur facial muscles are more relaxed and u smile more, when ur sad u give off a stone face and ur body language does protray it..when ur angry, muscles tense up and sometimes ur voice is raised, when ur anxious u will act in an irregular behaviour..so yea, i can go through all the emotions we feel, but again, i will cut to the chase..when we feel love we should act it out also..it would only be natural rite? k, i noe that there are some emotions that ppl do show, and some ppl think that it is not right to show these emotions, and well this is where psychologists come in..when you don't express (man, its SOO hard thinking of a non-psychological term) ur true feeling that you feel, it is called repression, and that leads on to more psychological discrepencies..

so yea, thats it, thanks for reading..

P.S. yea, i did read ppl's blogs and was inpired to write this, so if u are one of those ppl, im not putting u down in anyway, im actually quite sure that i've also tried to look for the meaning of love myself n posted something about it, but yea..too lazy to go n look up what i've written..so yea..

Cheers and God Bless

The Dog-Owner Relationship..

Alright, i guess im tired of looking at gloomy posts, SO i will do a comparison of myself with my dog, Jack..

1st of all, Jack pretty much has the same type of "hair*" style as me, where it is kinda bushy..

*Hair being the fur on the top of it's head




k, ignore everything else and focus on the hair..doesn't it look kind of similar?

k, my second point..he has attachment issues..where when he 1st came home, he only liked my dad and just hung around him, but later on he started to become closer to me, which i must say is pretty normal for any person..but yea, in that way he is similar..

Next, Jack doesn't liked to be approached when he is being handled by his owners..yea, well just say im carrying him, n my sister or mum approached him, he would bark and try to bite them (haha, yea serious issues that dog) BUT if my dad is holding him i can approach him, n vice versa..well, as for me, i dont bark nor do i bite, unless ur food, then i will bite and also chew..anyway it is KINDA like me, where i do have my own social circles that i exist in, BB, family, College, and Church..SO i dont really like it when certain circles collide, mostly would be my family with any other social circle..but then again, it is kinda normal rite?

the following point, He is SUPER noisy..hehe..need i explain more? well, maybe to those who noe me well enough, i am noisy..k, he is not noisy all the time, like he just barks at anything moving outside, esp other dogs..speaking of which, he is crazy enough to pick a fight with a dog 3-4 times it's size..me? im crazy enough to do crazy things too..haha..

k, in conclusion, u can actually attribute anything about ur dog's character to urself..it is just a sense of perspective..i guess that the only thing that Jack has in common with me is that he is male, and so am I, and also that he has issues, and that is also attributable to almost everyone..so yea, what's soo special about him if he is not anything like me? He is loyal and cheers me up..




Cheers and God Bless

Only in My World...

only in my world, i can feel like an absolute disaster even when i do something great..
only in my world, i can lie to myself and believe what i said is the truth..
only in my world, reality is not good enough for me..
only in my world, i hate being judged from people and yet crave it at the same time..
only in my world, i am the "sick-est" person in the world and nobody can help me..

only in my world, i can say "screw you" to myself and feel a whole lot better..

Thank God this is not my world, and that He came down just so that even I don't have to live in my world..

Cheers and God Bless..

HA..started la now.....

yea, emoing again..and yea, being here in australia for quite some time now, i think it is safe to say that i can come to a conclusion that no matter how strong u are, or should i say no matter how detached you are from friends n family, you will still miss certain aspects of them..

k, before i came here, my uncle told me that i will go through homesickness or some kind of syndrome, which i forgot the term but yea it has 4 stages to it.. it was that when i reached adelaide, i would be super high for quite some time which is the 1st stage, then moves into falling into a deep depression for quite some time, then the next stage should be me getting use to life here, and d final stage is im alright, as in im settled in..

anyway yea, what i've noticed about myself is that i dont really go through these stages properly (before i continue on, i must say i am no psychologist to come up with this conclusion, and what im saying is what i see about myself) yea, so when i first came, yea i was kinda high, and which i went straight into doing stuff which is me getting use to life..it could be that im still in d 1st stage..anyway, i will admit i did miss home after that (k, all those ppl who keep asking me d SAME question OVER and OVER again, here is ur answer..)but i must admit that i didnt miss my family, cuz i dont think i still appreciate them enough (yes im a bad son)..

so yea, i did get over it, mostly because i did talk to certain ppl, and got emails from d ppl i missed d most, which really made me feel better..was moving along alright, getting back to getting use to life, but NOW im startting to emo again, cuz yea i got my issues, and i do miss ppl back home (d same ppl) and now i really am starting to appreciate my family..

anyway, im getting fed up that i keep emoing..mostly d reason y im emoing is cuz im beating myself up for not being able to perform d best that i can..it is really affecting me, but yea no one can help me now..im tired of the fact that im never good enough, based on my judgements, and d worse part is that i tend to project my expectations of myself as also what God wants me to be like..im tired of being judged my others, and also judging others..i noe we always say things like, "you can share with confidence, and you wont be judged" but i noe that it is not true, cuz deep down in our heart we do judge, i can see it in ppl when they make a judgement..i do it to..

So sick, so sick of being tired.
And oh so tired of being sick.
We're both such magnifacent liars.
So crush me baby, I'm all ears.

~ You Know How I Do - Taking Back Sunday~

i think that is it.. im tired of being nice all the time..cuz when im nice, what it means is that im not allowing myself to act as what i truly believe..FOR example, you noe how i end my posts with a lot of, "if u think this post is about you, it isnt.."? yea, im tired of not writing about ppl that are bugging me, cuz i dont want to hurt their feelings, well, yea i am tired of walking on egg shells all d time..im tired of masking up..yea, im just sick of being tired, and tired of being sick...just like d line of that song..

so yea, what is this post about? it is about my inadequacies AND it is about ppl passing judgement..this post is talking about EVERYBODY who passes judgement..i NOE i do..and well, if you think this post doesnt affect you, so be it..if it does, think again..u sure im talking about you?

a disclaimer that i thought of a little later then when i posted this..not everyone i've met my whole life is judgmental..so, if u really dont think this post is about u, it isnt..

When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." - John 8:7

Cheers and God Bless..

It's a Wonderful Life

It truly is a wonderful life.. this is like d few movie reviews that i do..but yea this movie OWNED..can see why it is Jo's favourite movie of all time..kind of the reason why i watched it..haha..have to admit i did tear up at the end of the movie and apparently im quite stone when it comes to watching movies..awesome movie..dont think i will rate it, cuz different ppl look for different things in a movie..but yea, d storyline was great, although it was 2 hours plus, i didnt feel d length of the movie, it really kept me interested..it is definitely a great classic, must watch at least once..

Cheers and God Bless

You have ur jocks, goths and nerds...then u have Caleb..

Dont u guys think this is a weird pic? or is it just me? k la, maybe not weird, but seems like a pic from the 80's..cool, google existed in the 80's..haha..

ANYWAY..yea, u noe all those facebook quizzes they have? yea, did one like that was about what type of person i am in class..guess wat i got..the class social! like SUPER WHAT THE CRAP??! could it get anymore wrong?? (and yes, i noe facebook quizzes are done for fun, but it got me thinking..haha) but yea, if u were in my class, i always just sat in my place, n basically just talked to the ppl just around me..

so k, that might make me the "good boy" in class, which i dont think i am too..cuz i never really did homework..but i rarely got scolding from my teachers..so does that make me the "teacher's pet"? well, no, cuz teachers never really talked to me or even give me hints or special attention AND also i have a teacher who hates my guts (and also the rest of me)..some teachers didnt even remember my name..so im the "quiet guy"..well, i guess so..so there is 1 label there..but usually d quiet ones are the ones that get bullied..and i did get bullied, but only in standard 4..after which i made friends with my bullies and the gang of us did our own things..n yea, i was nasty then..so i was the "bully" but im too small sized to be one, n also im like d nice guy who tries to help ppl also..

What else is there? was i the "smart guy"? no, definitely not..haha..was i the "jock" or the "sports guy"? well, i did enjoy sports, and i did represent my school for cricket, only because the school just started out with the cricket club, and it was really easy to represent the school, so i dont think it counts..i was definitely the "band guy" (no i dont want to use the term band geek) because, in Malaysia, being in the band is one of the alright things to be in, because it required a lot of strength, stamina and determination..what else is there? was i the "nerd"? well, i wasnt the smart kind, as mentioned earlier, neither was i the kind into books or si-fi stuff..so i would say, no..er, wat else? "goth"? er, no.."emo"? The "troubled-one"? no, i was pretty carefree..the "lazy one"?well, maybe..but i was really hardworking on the field, be it football or band..the "weird one"? well no, cuz i blended in with the crowd pretty easily..the "comedian" or "class clown"? Only when i was in the mood, but it was not easy making the class laugh..so i guess thats a no.. the "prefect"? well, i should have been one, but i wasnt so thats a no..The "trouble-maker"? well, i had my fair share of pranks, but im not known for that..so no.."bad boy"? er, not really, i think i would disgrace the name if i said i was..haha..oh, how could i forget, "attention seeker/social butterfly"? DEFINITELY NOT..

man that is a lot..haha..so what have i got? band guy and quiet guy..but yea, im sure u guys get it by now..anyway, what i think i was in school was the good bad boy as well..as in, i mixed with the bad boys, but i didnt part take in their activities..yea, i was good enough not to be known as notorious by everyone, but i wasnt all that good too, in which somehow i did get the respect of the bad boys also..so yea, i guess that was what i was..haha..never thought i would say this, but i miss school days..

Cheers and God Bless

Godspeed- Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Its January 1970, do you remember me
You put me on a boat across the sea, in the name of victory
But much to my surprised when I arrived, there was no welcoming committee
Instead there was a man for me to kill, and now I see all this too real


Then I saw him standing with a bayonet
and as I ran towards him he hardly broke a sweat
When I took his life he fell to his knees
And as his eyes began to fade he whispered softly


Godspeed this letter, away from here
I've sealed it with my tears, and stamped it with my fists
And godspeed this letter, away from you
My work down here is through
I'm on my way to better days
And so are you


I'm in his pocket that I saw the picture of his children and his family
And I began to realize this person I despised, in actuality
Was not much different from myself
we porbably could have taught each other many things
And now I know its much too late although I couldn't hesistate
I checked his gun, and his chamber was empty

Then I saw him standing with a bayonet
and as I ran towards him he hardly broke a sweat
When I took his life he fell to his knees
And as his eyes began to fade he whispered softly

Godspeed this letter, away from here
I've sealed it with my tears, and stamped it with my fists
And godspeed this letter, away from you
My work down here is through
I'm on my way to better days
And so are you

o-ho
We know not what we've done
And o-ho
We know not what we've done

Godspeed this letter, away from here
I've sealed it with my tears, and stamped it with my fists
And godspeed this letter, away from you
My work down here is through
I'm on my way to better days
And so are you

BB life

Well, some ppl would think that BB life is quite fun, u get to hang out with your close bunch of friends



Or even cuz u get to win competitions



Or even you get to perform with celebrities


But there are some would also say that BB isnt all fun, it is about drill



Or it is about working hard to achieve goals


But yea, as you have seen, i've grown from the beginning to now, and as an officer I realize what BB is truly about..

Its about building character, and not just any character, but Christian character..

The advancement of Christ's among members and the promotion of habits of obedience, reverence, discipline and self-respect and all that tends to a true christian character

thats the BB motto, which I really must admit am finding difficult recalling and what i have wrote is straight from my memory..i really do hope it is not wrong..but yea, starting out as a boy, BB was about learning skills, and also through drill and band, discipline is ingrained in me, and it becomes practiced..but yea life back then was pretty easy, because it was all about me, well, kind of..but yea, when you join in the officer's council, things just change..

suddenly, its not about you and what you want..Which is why BB officers try to teach boys to follow the Will of God..and yea, i found that really difficult, because i was placed in the Juniors' section, which requires me to teach primary school boys, something im still not use to..

anyway, after awhile, i realize that its not about what I want but what He wants, so my perspective started to change, and i serve where ever I am needed..yea, that is all my experience in BB, now that I am out of BB, well, more like im in the outside world, and I realize, all that I've learnt in BB has to be seen rite? I mean, go through all that training, its life changing experience man, so I should be different..so far, I am really hoping that what people see when they see me is to 1st, see that I am a christian, and 2nd that im BB..

the actual reason i wanted to post this was because, yea its been awhile since i posted anything, and also, i wanted to share the hard life of a BB member as well..well, what i've experienced as well, and also i would dare say, most BB members who are still serving..the number 1 challenge for me is that I am bound to a life of discipline, because I am an example to my boys, and as i said earlier, i want to reflect what BB boys are..anyway yea, I have to be bound to my values, which at times are difficult, and yea being out of BB for such a long time, im starting to become complecent and i have neglected my values

so yea, thats my life..well, another page in the book anyway..but yea BB is awesome..just as what Mr Wong have introduced when we were trying to run the recruitment drive back a couple of years ago, we came up with d 3 aspects of BB that will be experienced and also will be taught, which are Character, Leadership and Brotherhood..and here, being asked to help organize guys' ministry, i realize that these 3 qualities are what christian men should be or have..from this, i realize how great the BB really is..Thank you God..


Cheers and God Bless

WHAT D CRAPPPP??!

click the picture, it should be a lot clearer.. but yea, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??! some random website is using my blog as a source?

i just decided to google my own blog title, and true enough i found this..

The Perfect Girl..

yea, when looking for a photo to put up for this post, yea, soo many other pictures came up..u had your blond girls (which in Western cultures find them more attractive than other hair colours), then you had your breasts sizes, and yea unfortunately your naked girls (which apparently moderate safe search does not filter out) and yea, so i chose this pic not cuz i find it the most attractive, but more like it was the best of the choices..

anyway, the reason for this post is because on the way home today in the car, i got interogated..yea, all stemmed from d question "do u have a girlfriend?" n yea d obvious answer followed which led to "so what is ur ideal girl?" then gone..yea im am affected by this, cuz yea had a bad experience (to those who know the whole story, well as much as i want to be macho and say im not affected, i cant cuz then i would be lying and denying it), and well i never really thought of it for a long time..so yea, i was thinking of my ideal girl but yea, nothing came to mind..n no that does not mean i am gay..(to those childish ppl..CM..)but yea, cuz i've made a deal with God about this and i trust Him to find someone for me, so i dont have a picture in mind cuz, if i did, then it doesnt really mean that i am asking God to find someone for me is it? not sure if u guys get what im saying..but yea..

well, if u guys are wondering what i asnwered fo the questions, well i said emo as an answer, where at least be understanding to my emotions and also is aware and expresses their own emotions..but yea, when i look at girls d 1st thing i look for is personality and character..then yea move on to physical appearance..

anyway yea, i need to post this up, cuz if i dont, i will be up d whole nite thinking about it..but yea, dont really like talking about this topic..cuz mostly i dont noe how to answer d questions..its between me n God..(and to those few who do noe)

Cheers n no worries mate!

When God shuts a door...

yea, remember d post i put up like a couple of weeks ago? well, if you dont here is d link

so yea, d last post i put up kinda left me in a sour note, so i thought maybe post something a little more uplifting..so yea, i was like bombarded with problems left, right and center, and they were all problems of others..N yea, it happened all d week im studying for my exam..so yea, my plan was that i would go for OCF on friday nite, n my exam is saturday morning, so yea it would have been a rush, but i really wanted to spend my time serving God..but yea, all d problems did kinda screw up my plans, cuz that time i was supposed to study, but i kept getting or hearing like new problems that others are facing, so that kinda like got me thinking about them.. so yea, kept from studying..

SO i was kinda down that i had to skip OCF to catch up on my studies, mostly cuz that meant i would spend d time studying than worshipping God..anyway, during OCF time, about 9pm, just after i posted that post, my friend came online n yea, started chatting with him and he also had a problem..so yea, i did all i can do as a friend, just listen n give advice, in which my friend felt it was good advice, and it kinda helped him with his problem..and yea, after that i realized, i was really REALLY super focused and can study properly, cuz all i needed is to be able to do something for ppl who need help..i didnt even know that i needed that..but God did, and i can see that everything was ochestrated so that i would skip OCF to see the glory and the love of God and yea, that really rejuvinated me..

anyway yea, not sure if u guys notice but im kinda not revealing names in this post cuz i would like to keep it anonimous, cuz yea, the point of the post is about God's works and not about how severe d problem is or even how great i am at solving problems (which im not)..all glory goes to Him..

Cheers..

Trials of a Psychologist..

IF only psychologists are seen as that..but yea, before i continue, this is just stuff that i face as a psychology student, and i have talked to a lot of other psychology students n also lecturers, and they say about the same thing..

so yea, what i really must say is super annoying is that when i talk to ppl, as soon as they realize that im a student of psychology, they start becoming soo careful and u can see that they are walking on egg shells when they are talking to me..it gets quite annoying cuz they already have this notion that im always analyzing them, which is wrong! psychology is not the ability to analyse ppl, that is natural, but more like systematically organising behaviour into catergories..n no we dont always do that..it really gets annoying cuz when i talk to like friends, and d 1st thing i do is of course is ask what is wrong, or even get more information about the problem that they are facing..always i get the reaction "can u stop analysing me?!" n yes, they do get a little pissed off..d problem is, im not analysing..im just being a friend..so yea, it does hurt, cuz ppl dont see me as a person anymore, but a psychologist..

well, im really not saying it is other ppls fault, cuz i do admit i do use psych knowledge in everyday life, cuz it what i learn n it is d only way for me to remember it..but yea, i dont use it all d time, and esp when it regards helping ppl, cuz 1) im not a psychologist yet, it is unethical for me to practice when i dont even know fully what im learning..n 2) it takes too much effort to be a psychologist and listen, watch and analyse every word, intonation, movement made..so yea..when friends and family face problems, my natural insticnt is to be a problem solver..so i try to fully understand the problem, cuz thats d only way for me to be able to help a person..

flip side to that, when ppl do face problems, like more psychological problems, ppl do turn to me and ask me to help these ppl..again, im not a psychologist, i cant do that..its like asking a person with an L lisense (assuming that d person never driven before in his or her life) and asking to drive from KL to Ipoh..i mean, i already feel really bad for these ppl cuz i know i cant do much to help them, the ppl around asking me to also help does not help..well, what i mean is that when i explain i cant do much, i can see that they get dissapointed with me..i mean come on man, dont tell me that i was the ace in ur pocket..

but yea, like i said la, i brought this onto myself..cuz i really like what im studying, n i do practice it cuz i want to test out n see if what i learn really is true..that is what a sciencist does..but yea, because i like to talk psych terms, and point out these stuff, ppl get such impressions..so yea, everything has a down side..it seems that the more u become a psychologist, d less u become a person..oh well, life goes on mate..

Cheers

Must watch..

Its for those band ppl, n yea, if ur not into bands, check out what ur missing on..anyway, its got 5 stars on u tub, so haha..check if it is really worth it man! the first few seconds is breath-taking!

OOOO MY HOOMIEE! that looks SOOOO freakin awesome! DCI 2008!

Cheers..

Giving my best..

Ppl always say, do ur best..n yea, i guess u urself will push urself hard as well..anyway yea, i just thought of this philosophical sentence, which im sure some philosophist would have already coined it, but yea here it is.."TRY to get the best, PREPARE to get the worst"..well, think about it..we do our best all d time, which u should, espcially you always give ur best to God..but if u just sat for an exam that ur not fully confident about, so yea study hard n do ur best, then after that be prepared to get the worst..of course im not saying that u will fail, but by doing this it helps keep a person in check n also humble..n yea, lets just say u do get bad results, no use crying over spilt milk rite? just check ur answers, see why it is wrong, if it is not, double check with ur lecturer or teacher or examiner..if it is wrong, understand why it is wrong, n work at it..

well, of course being a psychology student, i cannot disregard a person's feelings..well, it is pretty uncontrollable, n if u do feel dissapointed, well u should..no use denying the facts rite? if ur sad n depressed, then do what is nessacary to get out of it, work hard but DONT FORGET THE FEELING..cuz if u forget it, then u would be prone to going through failure again..a great person once said.."Emo (negative feelings) are a good thing..it shows that u can feel" - Eunice Ong..

anyway yea, haha kinda like my 3rd post in a day..on a roll eh? but yea, also really had nothing to do, so im trying to fill up time..i guess this is why Aaron posts d most random posts..haha..

on a more sullen note, a lot of ppl have commented and sent their wishes about and to MJ..well it was tragic, n just like what Ben has put up as his MSN nick, we truly know how much he has touched ppl's lives when everyone on FB n MSN n even blogs have commented and also sent their wishes to him..RIP MJ..

Cheers mates..

But I Want it NOW!!! *said in a whiny kid's voice*

not sure about u guys, but i feel that sometimes ppl in this day and age (age not really a factor) seem to be less patient..i mean, if u think about it, d internet is getting extremely fast, like, 1MB download speed is aparently considered as slow (or maybe moderate speed, im not too savvy with this topic) but yea, now i think my internet download speed is like 500 MBs..or maybe less..i have no clue..anyway, everything needs to be done soo quickly..i mean think about it..assignments are handed back like 2 weeks later, which i find really amazing cuz its like, 200 students n each is like 2000 words, news is always updated, noodles need to be cooked instantly, n i've heard ppl complain 2 mins is too long..but yea..u get the pic..we live in a world where everything is like done soo quickly and yea, i think we might have been too accustomed to this..

what i mean is, ppl want to grow up quicker, hence start doing "grown-up" things, like dressing, smoking, drinking, driving n so on..n yea 1 thing i've kinda noticed also is that ppl want to get into relationships quickly as well..like, yea, everything needs to be instant..as in, every problem has a quick fix to it..like if u feel lonely, just go find a girl or a guy u think u like, then get settled with them..well of course, not everyone is like that, but yea, why im making this point is cuz i realize that im pretty impulsive in doing stuff..n yea, i also notice this is other ppl..i always am looking for a quick solution for all my problems, but yea not all problems can be solved instantly all d time..for example, i want to buy a bass guitar..i bought a bass that i thought i liked, cuz it was cheap n it was black, n i liked d shape..so yea, took it home, named it, kept it clean for like a couple of months, where i would wipe it every time (like a thurough wipe) i practice, but later on i noticed that i didnt like the constant maintainance, cuz it was a shiny texture, easily smuged by fingerprints, d neck was too think, hard to move up n down d fret board (for me, being a beginner bassist, that is a big thing), n the strings started to rust, cuz it was cheap..so yea, i ended up selling that bass n looking for a new bass, which fit my criteria more..

moral of the story, i was too impulsive buying d 1st bass, cuz i was too caught up with the price n other factors..but now i realize that if i just waited, tested out the basses more, i would actually know what i really want..saved money in d process..but yea, not every problem can be solved instantly..n yes, use ur imagination in my example, it does fit with another aspect of life..think think a little bit n u should realize it..

anyway, yea..haha..finally found some inspiration to blog..so yea, catch u guys around..

Cheers..

Taking back.........

Oh, How i wish to end the title with sunday! (to those who dont noe, Taking Back Sunday is a rock band)

anyway, exams are over..what i have realized from this experience is that i do get stressed as well..k, i really want to take back what i have said previously that i do not get stressed..Ben, u were right i do get stressed..yea, i did post about not being stressed before, well kinda, it was more of me acting like i dont noe what it feels like...if u wanna read it here is d link

anyway, yea..i do get stressed..but d thing is i get stressed about different things, like, friends, as in problems they have, n organizing stuff..(as much as i want to not admit that, i think i should)..yea, those kind of things..but i must say that i get the MOST stressed out when im doing anything that is in relation with God and teaching or leading people in His name..because it is a HUGE thing..u really cant take things lightly..i mean, when ur teaching ANYTHING, if u dont get the right information, then ur students have ajaran sesat..so gone..its a huge responsibility..thats what leadership is about..well, 1 aspect..its not about power..

anyway yea, something new to learn..haha..anyway, continuing my post of TBS newest album songs, i want to post New Again, which is also the song name..anyway yea, i am actually singing it to myself, if that makes sense..hmmm..think that is a seperate post by itself..anyway yea..enjoy..

New Again

My dear, what long arms you have
All the better to hold you down
Slap my wrists with that sweet consequence

What are we...
What are we to do...
What are we to do with you?
What are we...
What are we to do...
What are we to do with you?

I am, I am ready to be new again
I'm ready to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
(Quite enough)
I am, I am ready to be new again
I'm ready to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
(Quite enough)

My dear, what deep roots you have
(All the better to)
All the better to hold you down
We'll live inside the branches
Of your families nest, I said
"Boy, where have you been?"
Cause you don't know where I've been

What are we to(to do with you)
What are we to do with you?

I am, I am ready to be new again
I'm ready to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
(Quite enough)
I am, I am ready to be new again
I'm ready to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
(Quite enough)

Don't know where I've been
Don't know where I've been
Don't know where I've been
(My dear, what long arms you have
All the better to hold you down)

I am, I am ready to be new again
I'm ready to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
(Quite enough)
I am, I am ready to be new again
I'm ready to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
(Quite enough)

Don't know where I've been
No you don't know where I've been
You don't know where I've been...

I am, I am ready to be new again
I'm ready to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
(Quite enough)
I am, I am ready to be new again
I'm ready to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
(Quite enough)

Cheers