Reopened wounds..

Dear Lord,

did i do what was right? I know in my heart that it is wrong, but I hit the nail square on the head..

Why, oh Lord, doesn't anyone listen to me?

I thought I was changed, looks like I'm not..

I thought I had one last chance to reverse this curse..seems like everyone's just blinded by it..

Maybe it's me..maybe what I've said is wrong? is it? it just doesn't add up logically if it is wrong..

Maybe I should move on..bigger and better things lie ahead, but I choose to stay behind, to come back, only to revert to old ways, and old feelings stir in my heart..

Is this the work of the devil? I pray oh Lord that you protect us from harm..

Why Lord, do i waste so much energy to put up a front, a facade, a mask, in a place where I should be accepted? Is that why I am so bitter inside? I am just not accepted as who I truly am?

People always say, "talk about it, you'll feel better after that.." Well, I've tried..not once, but may times, but things are still the same..

Oh Lord, you know how much I'm trying to change myself..But nobody else notices this..but i guess that is my fault for not sharing it in the first place..but when i do share, it always seems to back fire on me..

Oh Lord, I just want to serve You, but serving You means denying myself, something I am struggling with, I just pray Lord that I am able to do this..and that what others will say does not affect me Lord..

I thank you Lord for giving me a loving family, friends, and organisations that look into my spiritual growth..

I just pray oh Lord that You will be a guiding light in all their lives, and that Your truth will prevail..

Let us not lean on our own understanding but on Your wisdom..

Again I am sorry Lord, for what I've said or done..it may have even reflected badly on You Lord, so here I am begging for Your forgiveness..

Amen