You have ur jocks, goths and nerds...then u have Caleb..

Dont u guys think this is a weird pic? or is it just me? k la, maybe not weird, but seems like a pic from the 80's..cool, google existed in the 80's..haha..

ANYWAY..yea, u noe all those facebook quizzes they have? yea, did one like that was about what type of person i am in class..guess wat i got..the class social! like SUPER WHAT THE CRAP??! could it get anymore wrong?? (and yes, i noe facebook quizzes are done for fun, but it got me thinking..haha) but yea, if u were in my class, i always just sat in my place, n basically just talked to the ppl just around me..

so k, that might make me the "good boy" in class, which i dont think i am too..cuz i never really did homework..but i rarely got scolding from my teachers..so does that make me the "teacher's pet"? well, no, cuz teachers never really talked to me or even give me hints or special attention AND also i have a teacher who hates my guts (and also the rest of me)..some teachers didnt even remember my name..so im the "quiet guy"..well, i guess so..so there is 1 label there..but usually d quiet ones are the ones that get bullied..and i did get bullied, but only in standard 4..after which i made friends with my bullies and the gang of us did our own things..n yea, i was nasty then..so i was the "bully" but im too small sized to be one, n also im like d nice guy who tries to help ppl also..

What else is there? was i the "smart guy"? no, definitely not..haha..was i the "jock" or the "sports guy"? well, i did enjoy sports, and i did represent my school for cricket, only because the school just started out with the cricket club, and it was really easy to represent the school, so i dont think it counts..i was definitely the "band guy" (no i dont want to use the term band geek) because, in Malaysia, being in the band is one of the alright things to be in, because it required a lot of strength, stamina and determination..what else is there? was i the "nerd"? well, i wasnt the smart kind, as mentioned earlier, neither was i the kind into books or si-fi stuff..so i would say, no..er, wat else? "goth"? er, no.."emo"? The "troubled-one"? no, i was pretty carefree..the "lazy one"?well, maybe..but i was really hardworking on the field, be it football or band..the "weird one"? well no, cuz i blended in with the crowd pretty easily..the "comedian" or "class clown"? Only when i was in the mood, but it was not easy making the class laugh..so i guess thats a no.. the "prefect"? well, i should have been one, but i wasnt so thats a no..The "trouble-maker"? well, i had my fair share of pranks, but im not known for that..so no.."bad boy"? er, not really, i think i would disgrace the name if i said i was..haha..oh, how could i forget, "attention seeker/social butterfly"? DEFINITELY NOT..

man that is a lot..haha..so what have i got? band guy and quiet guy..but yea, im sure u guys get it by now..anyway, what i think i was in school was the good bad boy as well..as in, i mixed with the bad boys, but i didnt part take in their activities..yea, i was good enough not to be known as notorious by everyone, but i wasnt all that good too, in which somehow i did get the respect of the bad boys also..so yea, i guess that was what i was..haha..never thought i would say this, but i miss school days..

Cheers and God Bless

Godspeed- Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Its January 1970, do you remember me
You put me on a boat across the sea, in the name of victory
But much to my surprised when I arrived, there was no welcoming committee
Instead there was a man for me to kill, and now I see all this too real


Then I saw him standing with a bayonet
and as I ran towards him he hardly broke a sweat
When I took his life he fell to his knees
And as his eyes began to fade he whispered softly


Godspeed this letter, away from here
I've sealed it with my tears, and stamped it with my fists
And godspeed this letter, away from you
My work down here is through
I'm on my way to better days
And so are you


I'm in his pocket that I saw the picture of his children and his family
And I began to realize this person I despised, in actuality
Was not much different from myself
we porbably could have taught each other many things
And now I know its much too late although I couldn't hesistate
I checked his gun, and his chamber was empty

Then I saw him standing with a bayonet
and as I ran towards him he hardly broke a sweat
When I took his life he fell to his knees
And as his eyes began to fade he whispered softly

Godspeed this letter, away from here
I've sealed it with my tears, and stamped it with my fists
And godspeed this letter, away from you
My work down here is through
I'm on my way to better days
And so are you

o-ho
We know not what we've done
And o-ho
We know not what we've done

Godspeed this letter, away from here
I've sealed it with my tears, and stamped it with my fists
And godspeed this letter, away from you
My work down here is through
I'm on my way to better days
And so are you

BB life

Well, some ppl would think that BB life is quite fun, u get to hang out with your close bunch of friends



Or even cuz u get to win competitions



Or even you get to perform with celebrities


But there are some would also say that BB isnt all fun, it is about drill



Or it is about working hard to achieve goals


But yea, as you have seen, i've grown from the beginning to now, and as an officer I realize what BB is truly about..

Its about building character, and not just any character, but Christian character..

The advancement of Christ's among members and the promotion of habits of obedience, reverence, discipline and self-respect and all that tends to a true christian character

thats the BB motto, which I really must admit am finding difficult recalling and what i have wrote is straight from my memory..i really do hope it is not wrong..but yea, starting out as a boy, BB was about learning skills, and also through drill and band, discipline is ingrained in me, and it becomes practiced..but yea life back then was pretty easy, because it was all about me, well, kind of..but yea, when you join in the officer's council, things just change..

suddenly, its not about you and what you want..Which is why BB officers try to teach boys to follow the Will of God..and yea, i found that really difficult, because i was placed in the Juniors' section, which requires me to teach primary school boys, something im still not use to..

anyway, after awhile, i realize that its not about what I want but what He wants, so my perspective started to change, and i serve where ever I am needed..yea, that is all my experience in BB, now that I am out of BB, well, more like im in the outside world, and I realize, all that I've learnt in BB has to be seen rite? I mean, go through all that training, its life changing experience man, so I should be different..so far, I am really hoping that what people see when they see me is to 1st, see that I am a christian, and 2nd that im BB..

the actual reason i wanted to post this was because, yea its been awhile since i posted anything, and also, i wanted to share the hard life of a BB member as well..well, what i've experienced as well, and also i would dare say, most BB members who are still serving..the number 1 challenge for me is that I am bound to a life of discipline, because I am an example to my boys, and as i said earlier, i want to reflect what BB boys are..anyway yea, I have to be bound to my values, which at times are difficult, and yea being out of BB for such a long time, im starting to become complecent and i have neglected my values

so yea, thats my life..well, another page in the book anyway..but yea BB is awesome..just as what Mr Wong have introduced when we were trying to run the recruitment drive back a couple of years ago, we came up with d 3 aspects of BB that will be experienced and also will be taught, which are Character, Leadership and Brotherhood..and here, being asked to help organize guys' ministry, i realize that these 3 qualities are what christian men should be or have..from this, i realize how great the BB really is..Thank you God..


Cheers and God Bless

WHAT D CRAPPPP??!

click the picture, it should be a lot clearer.. but yea, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??! some random website is using my blog as a source?

i just decided to google my own blog title, and true enough i found this..

The Perfect Girl..

yea, when looking for a photo to put up for this post, yea, soo many other pictures came up..u had your blond girls (which in Western cultures find them more attractive than other hair colours), then you had your breasts sizes, and yea unfortunately your naked girls (which apparently moderate safe search does not filter out) and yea, so i chose this pic not cuz i find it the most attractive, but more like it was the best of the choices..

anyway, the reason for this post is because on the way home today in the car, i got interogated..yea, all stemmed from d question "do u have a girlfriend?" n yea d obvious answer followed which led to "so what is ur ideal girl?" then gone..yea im am affected by this, cuz yea had a bad experience (to those who know the whole story, well as much as i want to be macho and say im not affected, i cant cuz then i would be lying and denying it), and well i never really thought of it for a long time..so yea, i was thinking of my ideal girl but yea, nothing came to mind..n no that does not mean i am gay..(to those childish ppl..CM..)but yea, cuz i've made a deal with God about this and i trust Him to find someone for me, so i dont have a picture in mind cuz, if i did, then it doesnt really mean that i am asking God to find someone for me is it? not sure if u guys get what im saying..but yea..

well, if u guys are wondering what i asnwered fo the questions, well i said emo as an answer, where at least be understanding to my emotions and also is aware and expresses their own emotions..but yea, when i look at girls d 1st thing i look for is personality and character..then yea move on to physical appearance..

anyway yea, i need to post this up, cuz if i dont, i will be up d whole nite thinking about it..but yea, dont really like talking about this topic..cuz mostly i dont noe how to answer d questions..its between me n God..(and to those few who do noe)

Cheers n no worries mate!

When God shuts a door...

yea, remember d post i put up like a couple of weeks ago? well, if you dont here is d link

so yea, d last post i put up kinda left me in a sour note, so i thought maybe post something a little more uplifting..so yea, i was like bombarded with problems left, right and center, and they were all problems of others..N yea, it happened all d week im studying for my exam..so yea, my plan was that i would go for OCF on friday nite, n my exam is saturday morning, so yea it would have been a rush, but i really wanted to spend my time serving God..but yea, all d problems did kinda screw up my plans, cuz that time i was supposed to study, but i kept getting or hearing like new problems that others are facing, so that kinda like got me thinking about them.. so yea, kept from studying..

SO i was kinda down that i had to skip OCF to catch up on my studies, mostly cuz that meant i would spend d time studying than worshipping God..anyway, during OCF time, about 9pm, just after i posted that post, my friend came online n yea, started chatting with him and he also had a problem..so yea, i did all i can do as a friend, just listen n give advice, in which my friend felt it was good advice, and it kinda helped him with his problem..and yea, after that i realized, i was really REALLY super focused and can study properly, cuz all i needed is to be able to do something for ppl who need help..i didnt even know that i needed that..but God did, and i can see that everything was ochestrated so that i would skip OCF to see the glory and the love of God and yea, that really rejuvinated me..

anyway yea, not sure if u guys notice but im kinda not revealing names in this post cuz i would like to keep it anonimous, cuz yea, the point of the post is about God's works and not about how severe d problem is or even how great i am at solving problems (which im not)..all glory goes to Him..

Cheers..

Trials of a Psychologist..

IF only psychologists are seen as that..but yea, before i continue, this is just stuff that i face as a psychology student, and i have talked to a lot of other psychology students n also lecturers, and they say about the same thing..

so yea, what i really must say is super annoying is that when i talk to ppl, as soon as they realize that im a student of psychology, they start becoming soo careful and u can see that they are walking on egg shells when they are talking to me..it gets quite annoying cuz they already have this notion that im always analyzing them, which is wrong! psychology is not the ability to analyse ppl, that is natural, but more like systematically organising behaviour into catergories..n no we dont always do that..it really gets annoying cuz when i talk to like friends, and d 1st thing i do is of course is ask what is wrong, or even get more information about the problem that they are facing..always i get the reaction "can u stop analysing me?!" n yes, they do get a little pissed off..d problem is, im not analysing..im just being a friend..so yea, it does hurt, cuz ppl dont see me as a person anymore, but a psychologist..

well, im really not saying it is other ppls fault, cuz i do admit i do use psych knowledge in everyday life, cuz it what i learn n it is d only way for me to remember it..but yea, i dont use it all d time, and esp when it regards helping ppl, cuz 1) im not a psychologist yet, it is unethical for me to practice when i dont even know fully what im learning..n 2) it takes too much effort to be a psychologist and listen, watch and analyse every word, intonation, movement made..so yea..when friends and family face problems, my natural insticnt is to be a problem solver..so i try to fully understand the problem, cuz thats d only way for me to be able to help a person..

flip side to that, when ppl do face problems, like more psychological problems, ppl do turn to me and ask me to help these ppl..again, im not a psychologist, i cant do that..its like asking a person with an L lisense (assuming that d person never driven before in his or her life) and asking to drive from KL to Ipoh..i mean, i already feel really bad for these ppl cuz i know i cant do much to help them, the ppl around asking me to also help does not help..well, what i mean is that when i explain i cant do much, i can see that they get dissapointed with me..i mean come on man, dont tell me that i was the ace in ur pocket..

but yea, like i said la, i brought this onto myself..cuz i really like what im studying, n i do practice it cuz i want to test out n see if what i learn really is true..that is what a sciencist does..but yea, because i like to talk psych terms, and point out these stuff, ppl get such impressions..so yea, everything has a down side..it seems that the more u become a psychologist, d less u become a person..oh well, life goes on mate..

Cheers