Sunday, October 26, 2008

Thursday, October 23, 2008

SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SOMEDAY!!


yea, found another breathing space to blog a bit..still sick..but anyway, this all is nothing compared to sunday la..was one of the most (k, i dont want to say its d most, cuz i cant seem to recall any other day that is worse, but im sure that there is so just to be safe) depressing days of m life...it can be considered the last time i will play bass for worship..k i noe, im being selfish n the main point is to worship God..but yea, i realize that i truly worship God and give thanks through playing bass..which im really gonna miss.. need to find others ways of praising and worshiping God now..

besides that, from a more psychological POV (point of view), one of my ultimate goals is to be in a rock band n rock out on stage n the closest thing to that is to play for worship, which is actually a wrong mentality when you play..to be in the worship team, its is more important that u are well founded in God and play to worship Him, instead of playing to satisfy ur needs..but yea, when i play, i truly, TRULY play to worship God..

Dont really sing cuz u realize that i end up just singing to follow the mass, and i dont meditate on the words..Now, when im worshiping, i dont sing, but just stand there and read the words, meditating on it, trying to truly mean it..

So yea, am depressed..looking for ways to come out and to replace my mode of worshiping God..

Cheers..

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Gruff


no idea wat is that..just needed to write it..could be a new word, or an old word with a new meaning..the release of tension..haiz..anyway, just finished my super busy week last week, 1 assg due, 2 quizzes to prepare, and 2 midterms..carried over this week, 1 quiz, 2 group projects, 1 midterm paper, n 1 presentation..which is on friday, n i have no idea y im blogging now..on top of that, im sick, youth camp is drawing closer, and Click Trick is 3 weeks away..haiz..so yea..

anyway, today d whole day, i just wanted to be alone, sat alone, but i also wanted to hang around my friends..totally weird day..didnt say a word, or didnt say much, but i wanted to be with ppl..anyway, this is really weird for me cuz if i want to be alone, means i REALLY want to be alone, cuz im extra irritable..but this time was a mix..anyway, after philo class, i was just super pissed off, at wat i dunno..maybe its cuz of d stress, or not..that was also totally weird..hmm..maybe cuz im sick also, God knows..

oo, and about d pic, i just typed in gruff for fun on google, and this is wat i found..haha..a forgotten children's story..

Cheers?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

dying happy?


k, besides living my life in God's love, i would be able to die really happy if i have rocked out on stage with a band (hopefully ben is d guitarist la..haha) with super cunted songs..so if that day were to come, and i were do die from a freak accident after that, i dont mind..( k, im not suicidal, just expressing what i consider as self-actualizing- a psych term)

but yea, of course i want to live a life that glorifies God..well, if ur asking about drumming, like performing with a marching band, or like the Nilai performance kind of performance, i wouldn't mind but i've already done it, so yea..haha..n for marching bands, well i only want to do it with d bands that i performed with (1st kl 2006 PESTA band, APMB 2003 band) y? cuz there is a strong bond already connected with them..haha..kinda miss those days, but thats all they are..memories..need to move forwards and look forward for different ways to express myself..

Cheers..

Friday, October 10, 2008

All i wanted to say was hi..

(me) This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
boss..

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
macam mana?

(obvious who this is rite?) darryn says:
apa

darryn says:
balik kampung

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
haha, kat mana tu?

darryn says:
timbuktu

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
haha..

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
jauhnya..

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
kenapa dia datang sini?

darryn says:
makan satay ma, banyak sedap!

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
lepas tu balik?

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
banyak kaya..

darryn says:
ya... kaya, strawberry jam pun ada

darryn says:
traffic jam pun ada!

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
oo..bagus bagus..

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
ku ni belum cuba traffik jam la..rasa macam mana ah?

darryn says:
tada sedap

darryn says:
cuba Jakarta brand traffik jam... mati terus

This Photograph is Proof ( I Know You Know) - Im not stressed..im just in denial.. says:
oo..begitu...terima kasih atas amaran yang kau bagi..

darryn says:
sama2

Thursday, October 9, 2008

hmmmm....so this is wat stress feels like?


u know, i use to think that there is such a thing as ataraxia, where it is a condition where a person just cannot feel stressed, which is in d movie lucky number slevin (really good movie)..of course i did research, trying to find out more about it..cuz i dont get stressed over normal stuff to get stressed about, like exams, performing on stage, competitions, watever else that is stressful..i just dont get stressed, like, super cool..but anyway, i couldnt find anything in any of my textbooks, online, or even my lecturers, so im coming to a conclusion that there is no such thing, its just that my perspective of what is important to me is not in order.. so now i've learnt to prioritize my studies, so now im finally feeling this weird feeling, which im assuming is stress..haha..

Cheers

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Phobias

k, im still in a holiday mood, so i will give u guys another post..something a little more interesting la..my phobias..

well, when i was young, i had a terrible phobia of sharks..trust me, it was really bad..i couldnt even stand d sight of the sharks, n d worse part was that my sis (elder sis) use to get a poster of all the sharks and chase me around the house, n my dad would actually allow her to do that..haha..i remember even once hiding under the bed just to get away from her..anyway, i remember when i was like, 4 i REALLY loved sharks..interesting, no? a sudden change..i just cant remember y..maybe some hypnosis can help explain that..but yea, it was just a sudden overnight thing..anyway, NOW i dont have that fear anymore la..got over it..it started with slowly just looking at sharks, then touching the picture (sounds dumb but it was a breakthrough, k?) then watching documentaries, looking at real sharks, n finally, touching a real shark..all this was done before the age of 18..so anyway, i actually went through a psych process called extinction which is used to overcome fears, which i didnt noe about (another reason i think i should do psych)

k, other than my shark phobia, a.k.a. selachophobia, i have a fear of heights (acrophobia), where when im walking on some high place, n i suddenly realize that there is a drop near by, my knee closest to the drop will give way, so i will like trip towards it..usually happens in shopping malls, 1st floor onwards, near d center court or something like that la..(get wat i mean?)

i think thats about it, in terms of fears la..k, also i just really really REALLY REALLY REALLLLYYY HATE BUGS..ALL KINDS..DONT CARE IF THEY ARE SLUGS, WORMS, OR WATEVER, just hate them..k, maybe not hate la..REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLLYYYY dislike them..dunno y, just do..haha..

Cheers..

An Organized Mess...


haha..sounds a bit like an oxymoron rite? well, not really la..well, thats how i am..everytime i do something, its a mess, but its organized to me..haha..my room is the best example..i like to be able to see everything, cuz then i noe where everything is..when things are neat, it means that everything is kept away somewhere, not visible, so yea..haha..so i get really annoyed when someone goes into my room and clears everything up..thats when everything goes "missing" in my room..haiz..when no one touches it, there is no problem..

also quite interesting is that im quite a neat freak..or more like a perfectionist, where i need to do things to perfection or i have to go through a system or something to do things..haha..u noe wat? im actually confusing myself..i guess, to simply put it, im an organized mess..haha..the organized part is in my mind..d mess is wat u see..

Coming soon..

haha, its been like a week rite? so yea, hold on..will update soon..